Tag: wife

WORD-AFLAME LEADERSHIP COLLEGE Top Qualities Of A Good Wife

Top Qualities Of A Good Wife

By Gideon in Blog, MARRIAGE on May 23, 2020

Now that you’ve said, “I do,” you’re probably interested in learning how you can be the best wife possible to the man God has placed in your life.

You’re looking for some advice because being a good and Godly wife isn’t as easy as it seems.

Maybe you’re a newlywed or maybe you’ve been married for several years.  Whatever the case, you’re interested in how you can improve yourself and strengthen your marriage.

You may be wondering what does my husband need from me and how can I provide those things to him?

Men, like women, want to know that their spouse supports them, respects them, and is genuinely interested in their daily life happenings.  Just to name a few.

We are going to focus on seven topics that will cover some great qualities of a loving supportive wife.  This is not a complete list, but it’s a good start and can have the biggest impact on your marriage. 

1. Respect Your Husband :

I placed this topic first because in my opinion, if you do not respect your husband then all of the other topics we cover will be a moot point.  What do we mean by RESPECT? 

Praise and compliment your husband in front of family and friends!  Nothing infuriates me more than to be in the same room with a wife that constantly insults her husband (either in front of him or behind his back).  This is incredibly disrespectful and it actually makes the wife look bad and not the husband!

Tell your husband you respect him through words and texts.  He needs to hear your affirming words.

Emerson Eggerichs, the author of Love and Respect, writes, “Women need love.  Men need respect.  It’s as simple and as complicated as that.” 

Granted, both women AND men require respect and love from the other. However, many surveys have concluded that men would rather feel unloved than disrespected and inadequate.

Think about that.

2. Give Him the Benefit of a Doubt (Trust):

This is a big one, too.  Give him the benefit of a doubt.  Husbands want to be trusted!I’ll be the first to admit that my mind can get carried away….far far away.

But if you STOP, and think about the situation logically, you will most likely come back to reality and realize you’ve been overreacting with your thoughts.

Acting as though you don’t trust your husband is tiring, gets old, and quite frankly, leaves you coming across as insecure and negative.  Not a good quality, ladies.

3. Don’t be a Hypocrite:

Don’t set high expectations for him and not yourself.  Don’t get caught up in “what can my husband do for me that will make me look good to others.”  That’s just plain selfish.

Don’t expect him to make your coffee in the mornings, and then not do anything for him. 

Don’t expect him to better himself physically, financially, etc., and then you don’t do the same.

In short, be what you expect your husband to be.  That’s not too much to ask is it?

4. Accept Him As-Is :

If you married a man with a notion that you were going to change him, that’s a huge mistake that you’ll carry on your shoulders for the duration of the marriage.

Accept him as-is just like you would want him to accept you as-is. His style is unique. His thought processes are unique. His habits are unique. If you knew these things about him pre-marriage, and you weren’t a fan of any of them, then that’s on you if you choose to marry him. 

Granted, some things can be discussed and worked out!  Nobody wants to see dirty clothes all over the bathroom floor.  But what I’m referring to goes much deeper than this.

Andrea Miller, author of Radical Acceptance:  The Secret of Happy, Lasting Love, writes “individuals who learn to radically accept their spouse and grow together, despite it all, end up having longer and happier marriages.”

“He knows his weaknesses.  But he needs you to admire his strengths, not draw attention to his weaknesses.  Your husband needs your admiration like you to need his love.”
WORD-AFLAME LEADERSHIP COLLEGE Top Qualities Of A Good Wife
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5. Nagging will get you NOTHING

Nagging is nothing more than trying to control him.  Over time, this will create a deaf ear and loss of interest.  Instead, communicate clearly and calmly if there are some items you’d like his assistance with.  Sometimes, people just need a reminder especially if they are working full time, taking kids back and forth to sports, gym class, or have a second job.

6. Give him Compliments:

Men love compliments, too!  Say things like: You look nice. You did a great job. I love your smile. You do your job very well. The yard looks great. You’re a great dad. You’re a great husband. I admire you.

Make sure the compliment is genuine and say it with a smile. Giving Steve compliments is so easy for me, probably because he makes it easy for me to compliment him!

7. Physical Intimacy:

Do we need to discuss this?  Well, in case you haven’t heard…men want and need physical intimacy and lots of it. Their needs tend to be more physical and visual (bring out the lingerie ladies) and we tend to have more of an emotional connection and intimacy need preceding the physical aspect.

The bottom line is this:

A husband and wife should communicate their needs with each other. After all, this part of the marriage is just as important as all the other aspects of a great marriage.

Final Thoughts on Qualities of a Good Wife

Those are my personal top seven qualities of a good wife. There are many other qualities to consider. Some of these qualities may come naturally to us. Some of these qualities will require some practice.

What it boils down to are communication and commitment. Ask him what you can do to better meet his needs. Then make a personal commitment to follow through. 

There is nothing more important to me than treating Steve with my utmost love and respect.

Credit: Anne

WORD-AFLAME LEADERSHIP COLLEGE 19 Ways To Fix Your Wife

19 Ways To Fix Your Wife

By Gideon in Blog, MARRIAGE on October 29, 2019

19 ways to fix your wife – when she is falling apart!

Your wife can be dying in silence while still performing her wifely duties.

You will need to know her to know when she needs to be fixed.

When a woman is always moody, cries a lot, yells on Children, can easily sleep or sleeps a lot, she may be battling with something you are not careful enough to see.

A real man will not allow his wife to fall apart without fixing her and making her better and happy.
If you discover your wife is falling apart, watch out and fix the following:

1. CHECK IF YOU ARE THE PROBLEM
You might be her problem, but out of her respect and love for you, she may not tell you. Ask, let her talk sincerely

2. BE AWARE OF HER RESPONSIBILITIES
Get to know how her work load is killing her. Regardless of whether she stays at home or goes to work, do you know what she does all day? If you don’t, ask her. Her to-do list is probably overflowing with tasks that far outweighs her time and energy.
WORD-AFLAME LEADERSHIP COLLEGE 19 Ways To Fix Your Wife
3. BE APPRECIATIVE
Be mindful of her needs and appreciative of her sacrifices. The work a woman does at home can be too common that nobody will appreciate her for them, this can be killing her. Appreciate your wife

4. GET INVOLVED BEFORE SHE BURNS OUT
Don’t just be appreciative, but get involved. The best time to begin helping your wife is now. Don’t wait until she breaks down to offer a helping hand.

5. GET MACHINE
Get all the machine needed for her work at home (the ones you can afford). Dish washer, gas cooker, refrigerator, oven, laundering Machine etc

6. BE AN ACTIVE PARTICIPANT
Be totally involved at home, stop delegating parenting and family life. Don’t be a “visiting Professor”, be an active partner in this business of your life. It takes two to parent. It takes two to make a marriage work. It takes two to run a household. Be fully involved in every aspect of your family life.

7. HOLD HER
Hold her like a lover and a friend. Place your hands on her shoulder, her laps, hold her hands, just hold her and let her feel you.

WORD-AFLAME LEADERSHIP COLLEGE 19 Ways To Fix Your Wife

8. JUST LISTEN
Men are known to be good talker but very bad listeners. At times what your wife needs is for you to just listen. Do not interrupt, let her unburden, let her talk. Sometimes the best way for a woman to reset is by getting all of her thoughts out. Let your wife talk through her feelings and problems. Show empathy. Listen carefully. Ask questions. Be fully engaged in the conversation.

9. BE A PARTNER NOT A TEACHER
Most men do fall into the “Teaching trap” when they are supposed to be a partner, showing love and consideration. Do not blame, just be there for her. Just listen. That’s all you need to do. And if she wants you to offer solutions, she’ll ask for them

10. GIVE HER HOPE
No matter what happens, don’t ever raise up your hands in surrender. Giving up, crying or weeping will hurt your wife more. Encourage her. Let her know what you love about her. Help her see the good in any situation. Avoid being critical or negative. When she has hit the rock bottom, be the man who lifts her up, and brings light and hope back into her life.

11. BE SENSITIVE
Get to know her mood, get to know her needs, get to know what is needed to be done at home and do them without prompting
Learn the art of looking around the house and finding things that need to get done. Are there dishes in the sink? What is broken that needs to be fixed? Don’t wait to be asked. Just do it!

12. PRAY FOR HER
Take your time off to pray for her, hand her over to her maker who knows the deepest need of her heart . Let God fix her, you can’t do it
Let God know what you appreciate about her. Ask for his help. Ask him to tell you how you can be a better spouse to her. Ask him to comfort her and help her see herself as He see her.

WORD-AFLAME LEADERSHIP COLLEGE 19 Ways To Fix Your Wife

13. PRAY WITH HER
Don’t just pray for your wife, find time to pray with her, hug her as you pray together, hold her hands, just talk to your maker together.

14. ASK HER HOW YOU CAN BE OF HELP
Your wife knows what you can do to help her reset, so just ask her. She will open up to you, it may not be what you think, so don’t speculate, ask, She’ll appreciate it more than you will ever know.

15. HELP AROUND THE HOUSE
Give a helping hand around the house. Give her a kitchen holiday for some days, do all the cooking or hire somebody to do it for you. Let her just sit, eat and rest, this may be all she needs.
WORD-AFLAME LEADERSHIP COLLEGE 19 Ways To Fix Your Wife
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16. TAKE HER OUT
Take her out, eat out, go to the cinema, go to wherever she will love to go, not where you want, just follow her.

17. ALLOW HER TO CRY,IF SHE MUST
“Stop crying, are you a baby?, will you be crying about this little thing?”
This is what most nude earning husband will do when their wives cry, what an insensitive word. If she feels like crying, hold her to yourself and let her do the crying while you pat her on the back. It’s a great way to fix the problem.

18. LET HER GO ON HOLIDAY
Allow her to go on holiday all alone to herself, this can fix the problem as she returns with greater energy.

19. CELEBRATE HER
Let your wife be celebrated. Celebrate her in secret and in public. Talk about her beauty, motherhood, wifehood, support, thoughtfulness. This will make her day.

Let the men read and apply….

Let the women read and pass to the men……especially

WORD-AFLAME LEADERSHIP COLLEGE Women Must Not do This!

Women Must Not do This!

By Gideon in Blog, MARRIAGE on October 15, 2016

A MARRIAGE COUNSELOR HAS THIS FOR MARRIED WOMEN:
*Never raise your voice for any reason to your husband. It’s a sign of disrespect.
* Don’t expose your husband’s weaknesses to your family and friends. You are each other’s keeper.
*Never ill treat your husband’s friends because you don’t like them, the person who’s supposed to get rid of them is your husband.
*Never assign anyone to give attention to your husband, people may do everything else but your husband is your own responsibility.
*Never blame your husband if he comes back home empty handed. Rather encourage him.
*Never pretend to be sick for the purpose of denying your husband sex
*Never compare your husband to your one time sex mate in the bedroom.
*Never shout or challenge your husband in front of children
*Never allow your friends to be too close to your husband.
*Never be in a hurry in the bathroom and on the dressing table. Out there your husband is always surrounded by women who took their time on their looks.
*Your parents or family or friends do not have the final say in your marriage. Don’t waste your time looking up to them for a final word –
*Never base your love on monetary things. Will you still submit to him even if you earn more money than him? –
*Don’t forget that husbands want attention and good listeners, never be too busy for him.
*Never be too demanding to your husband, enjoy every moment, resource as it comes.
*Don’t associate with women who have a wrong mental attitude about marriage.
*A prayerful wife is a better equipped wife, pray always for your husband and family.