Tag: couples

WORD-AFLAME LEADERSHIP COLLEGE 7 Don't in Marriage!

7 Don’t in Marriage!

By Gideon in Blog, MARRIAGE on September 16, 2019

This article “7 don’t in marriage” is part of my practical experience in marriage of which I know that the young couples and older ones will need to carefully work on them, for rich and smooth relationship with little or no hitches that is capable of jeopardizing this beautiful institute of God.
Although your marriage is unique, but almost the same experience of them all especially if it is built on Christ the solid rock. Hence, this tips could be a manual for great and lasting marriage.

1. Don’t IGNORE your spouse.

Be serious, be careful at every complain from your spouse, be it personal or general. If you ignore often, this may result to act of insensitivity which may be dangerous at times, it may even cost life, while some may be irreversible and then you will continue to live with the scares permanently forever. There is need for you to deal with negligence and lackadaisical approach to issues and situations. Learn to always respond swiftly to every complain, a stitch in time saves nine.

2. Don’t DENIAL your spouse’s right to you.

Your heart, your thinking and your entire life exclusively belongs to your spouse- deny your spouse of this great right is a sign of silent and gradual divorce, the relationship will gradually be loosing his savor- heart broken will eventually set in, and you know the result is the opposite of the plan of God for marriage.

3. Don’t DISRESPECT your spouse-openly.

Honor begot honor and respect is a reciprocal, avoid relegating your spouse in any form it could amount to disgrace and the fabric of love will be tearing and wearing gradually.
WORD-AFLAME LEADERSHIP COLLEGE 7 Don't in Marriage!
4. Don’t SUBDUE your spouse.

The fact remains that you are one flesh, but of two different destiny and one is bound to be greater in life than the other and your glory either are not equal from God and so He did not made a mistake for allowing you together. Accept the grace of God on individual, have the heart that, the success of your spouse is your glory and always appreciate God for this gift. The best you can do in life for your spouse is to help fulfill his/ her God’s giving vision.

5. Don’t DISCONNECT your spouse for any reason.

Should in case of doubt at any point in time in your marriage, always learn to hear your spouse out. Keep the knot strong and stronger, marriage is the only beautiful relationship you can ever have. Therefore, If you handle it properly it can prolong life with absolute tranquility.
Also Read This: Improving The Marriage Relationship
6. Don’t often PREEMPT your spouse.

Yes, you have known and trust your spouse very well, but sometimes you may need explanation for a particular action. But if you are so quick to presume in a matter, you may end up in becoming too haste and judgmental in your approach to an issue you ought to patiently ask for reason for better understanding. You can avoid hurting your spouse carelessly with gentile and loving approach at all time.

7. Don’t COMPETE with your spouse.

You are to compliment each other and not to compete, avoid generating unnecessary rancor. You are not likely to have the same needs met at the same time, yours may come later. Everything in your marriage is also yours including that of your spouse, therefore learn to always be comfortable with godly maturity to enjoy your marriage together. God bless your marriage/relationship. By Dr. G O Oyedepo
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WORD-AFLAME LEADERSHIP COLLEGE 10 FACTS ABOUT MARRIAGE

10 FACTS ABOUT MARRIAGE

By Gideon in Blog on August 29, 2019

Marriage is forever beautiful and in the quest to have an healthy and lasting marriage, you must avoid comparing your spouse with others, yours is unique, perfect and exclusively created for you, ordained to fulfill your destiny! You will appreciate God in your life only when you accept to appreciate your spouse!

Here are 10 points to help you handle your marriage relationship better! 

  1. Everyone you marry has a weakness. Only God does not have a weakness. So if you focus on your spouse’s weakness you can’t get the best out of his strength.
  2. Everyone has a dark history. No one is an angel. When you get married or you want to get married stop digging into someone’s past. What matters most is the present life of your partner. Old things have passed away. Forgive and forget. Focus on the present and the future.
  3. Every marriage has its own challenges. Marriage is not a bed of roses. Every good marriage has gone through its own test of blazing fire. True love proves in times of challenges. Fight for your marriage. Make up your mind to stay with your spouse in times of need. Remember the vow For better for worse. In sickness and in health be there.
  4. Every marriage has different levels of success. Don’t compare your marriage with any one else. We can never be equal. Some will be far, some behind. To avoid marriage stresses, be patient, work hard and with time your marriage dreams shall come true.
  5. To get married is declaring war. When you get married you must declare war against enemies of marriage. Some enemies of marriage are: Ignorance Prayerlessness Unforgiveness Third party influence Stinginess Stubbornness Lack of love Rudeness Laziness Disrespect Cheating Be ready to fight to maintain your marriage zone.
  6. There is no perfect marriage. There is no ready made marriage. Marriage is hard work. Volunteer yourself to work daily on it. Marriage is like a car that needs proper maintenance and proper service. If this is not done it will break down somewhere exposing the owner to danger or some unhealthy circumstances. Let us not be careless about our marriages.
  7. God cannot give you a complete person you desire. He gives you the person in the form of raw materials in order for you to mould the person that you desire. This can only be achieved through prayer, love and Patience.
  8. Getting married is taking a huge risk. You can not predict what will happen in the future. Situations may change so leave room for adjustments. Husband can lose his good job or you may fail to have babies. All these require you to be prayerful otherwise you might divorce.
  9. Marriage is not a contract. It is permanent. It needs total commitment. Love is the glue that sticks the couple together. Divorce start in the mind and the devil feeds the mind. Never ever entertain thoughts of getting a divorce. Never threaten your spouse with divorce. Choose to remain married. God hates divorce.
  10. Every marriage has a price to pay. Marriage is like a bank account. It is the money that you deposit that you withdraw. If you don’t deposit love, peace and care into your marriage, you are not a candidate for a blissful home.

So today let us pray for our marriages and ask God to help us where we are lacking in the marriage. May God bless you. I love you all. 

WORD-AFLAME LEADERSHIP COLLEGE Adjusting To Married Life

Adjusting To Married Life

By Gideon in Blog, MARRIAGE on August 1, 2019

Adjusting to married life could be an overwhelming time for a lot of newly married couples.
But you and your spouse can use this period to build a strong foundation for your marriage. A strong foundation will help you adjust to married life, and transition into life as a married couple.

Below are the 14 tips for adjusting to married life.

1. Money

What’s mine is yours, and what’s yours is mine after we tie the knot right?

Well, that’s how it should be anyways, especially with money!

Have the same checking and savings accounts, learn to agree on finances, start and work on a simple family budget.

Big adjustment there.

For us, ongoing frequent communication was key.

You each have a say in your money. It’s both of your money even if there’s only one income. This is a significant point about adjusting to finances in that first year of marriage.

2. Communication

He speaks male, and she speaks female. We know this, we hear about it all the time, right?

Being married and experiencing this is entirely different.

So many of our arguments that first year of marriage was due to us misunderstanding each other.
Even if you use the same word, the definition of that word may be different to your spouse.
WORD-AFLAME LEADERSHIP COLLEGE Adjusting To Married Life
3. Selfishness to selflessness

I never realized how selfish I was until I got married.

You have to go from thinking about yourself, what you want to eat for dinner and how you want to live your life, to what do we want for dinner and how do we want to live our life. – Ashley

Putting each others needs before ourselves while keeping the balance so you are not a rug to be stepped on, or taken advantage of. This is a big part of not only surviving the first year of marriage but also having a happy and healthy marriage.

If you both put each other first, it will be a win- win. Learn how to become selfless.

4. Unity

Always remember, your spouse has your best interest. If not, why did they marry you?

In addition, if changing your name after marriage is but of your plans, do it right away.

5. Learning how to “fight fair”

I don’t even like that word because we never fight, we argue or disagree respectfully as mature adults should.

Fighting makes me think of screaming and yelling, name calling, hits below the belt, and things being thrown, or physical harm.

In our first year of marriage, we had a lot of adjusting to do in learning how to disagree in a healthy way because we both came from different families who had different ways of doing things.

6. Honesty
Be honest about your marriage expectations, discuss, and compromise with each other.

7. Boundaries with in-laws, family, and friends

Setting those boundaries of what’s acceptable to share about your relationship with your friends, in-laws, and family members, when they can visit, and how much time you spend with them is crucial.

No one loves your spouse like you do!

If they do something little and it pisses you off, don’t vent to your family member(s) who won’t be able to forget and forgive as easily as you.

Most problems that come up in marriage arguments are usually a misunderstanding or communication issue anyways (excluding any form of abuse or infidelity).

By setting these boundaries in the first year of marriage helps in building a strong foundation for your marriage.
WORD-AFLAME LEADERSHIP COLLEGE Adjusting To Married Life
8. Romance

You have to communicate to each other what you need to feel romanced and loved, they can’t read your mind.

Compliment each other.

Keep the romance alive.

Don’t forget to really talk about things you enjoy, do things together and enjoy each other’s company.

Marriage is work, but it is also fun.
Marriage is spending your days and growing together with your best friend, lover, and partner in life; so enjoy them!

9. Personalities

You are two unique individuals with two unique backgrounds, therefore adjusting to marriage will require some effort from both of you.

You will have to learn to compromise with each other to ensure the success of your marriage.

10. Meals

Making dinner, lunch or breakfast was an adjustment for us; we are from two different countries.
Since you and your spouse are from two different families you will have some adjusting to do.

We had to find things we liked from each other’s meals, tried to mesh them together, and experimented with new recipes until we came up with meals we both enjoyed.

We love different foods from all over the world and try to make our own versions at home.
Healthy food was an adjustment, we are always striving to eat healthier, one of us knew more about the quality of canned vs frozen vs fresh vs organic.

You are what you eat so this should be a topic of discussion in your first year before the arguments over meals begin.

11. Life challenges and the unexpected events

We had a lot thrown at us in our first year of marriage. It really put our commitment to the test.
We learned to stick together and cling to each other when the storms came. We always planned ahead, especially with our finances.

Being there to lean on, and leaning on your spouse when you need to, that’s one of the best things about marriage.

You have a best friend whom you can rely on.

They are strong where you are weak, and you’re strong where they are weak. Be available for your spouse.

12. Time

Spend time together sharing your experiences about adjusting to each other as a married couple.

Remember quality over quantity. Your marriage needs to be nurtured so it can grow.

Time with your spouse should be a priority too.

13. Patience

Marriage adjustments take time, so be patient with each other.

14. Words

After you said “I do,” you are now a wife, a husband, or partner.

Let it sink in even when it feels or sounds weird.

Also, choose some forbidden words for your marriage.

The adjustments you go through is because:

You are a newly married couple.

You are two unique individuals with different personalities. You have your own way of doing things.

You have different family upbringing, beliefs, and traditions. Adjusting to marriage is a learning experience.

As a newlywed, you can use this learning opportunity to understand and learn more about your spouse.

Certain things that didn’t bother you in the beginning will start to wear on you.

Adjusting to marriage is something you should look forward to during the first year of your marriage.

Furthermore, you must be ready for change because marriage is completely different from dating or courtship.

Yes, change, the word some people do not like to hear.

And even worse, some people don’t think they have to go through it. But to excel at anything in life and marriage, you must be open to change!

Within the first year of adjusting to married life, you could easily become overwhelmed and confused about everything going on between you and your spouse.

It feels as if the marriage expectations you had prior to your marriage is completely opposite to what you are experiencing.
These expectations of marriage you have can make adjusting to married life very difficult for you.

Sometimes you might even wonder or doubt if you married the right person.
WORD-AFLAME LEADERSHIP COLLEGE Adjusting To Married Life
Be calm

This is normal.

And the stress can be lessened by learning how to communicate with your spouse. Trying to understand them and adjusting to your marriage.
It happened to us too. But we stuck together and compromised with each other on our marriage expectations.

We had to both respect each other’s boundaries. We worked together to build a strong foundation for the wonderful marriage we enjoy today.

As humans, we all have our own way of doing things.

Before getting married, you are used to having your own space, your own car, your own money, making decisions on your own, etc.

He folds his clothes one way, she does a different way.

He organizes one way, she does another, or maybe one of you doesn’t organize at all!

Once you get married, you add another person (your spouse) to the mix.

And marriage adjustments must be made to create a happy, lasting, and healthy marriage.

Finding a way to mesh your differences together and compromising is where the learning curve begins.
WORD-AFLAME LEADERSHIP COLLEGE Adjusting To Married Life
You both become ONE.

Your bedroom becomes our bedroom, Your closet, our closet, Your bathroom, our bathroom, Your money, our money, Your decisions, our decisions.

Use these marriage adjustments to start growing together, and building a strong foundation in the first year of your marriage.

In the first year of our marriage, adjusting to married life was not easy.

We had to make some marriage adjustments, settling into the marriage rhythm, and learn as we confronted our challenges in marriage.

Being on the same page, having our family theme, marriage goals, and understanding why we got married kept us going.

In addition, we read marriage books for couples. It’s one of the things we highly recommend for newlyweds.

Learn how to handle the adjustments you go through.

If marriage adjustments in that first year of marriage are not handled well, it is counter productive in setting up a stable marriage foundation.

After interviewing over 30 married couples, we have observed they all experienced some form of marriage adjustments during their first year of marriage.

Therefore, you and your spouse will have to learn how to synergize your differences to enjoy married life together.

With divorce rates so high, you want to do everything you can to ensure a successful, healthy, and happy marriage.

Credit: Marcus and Ashley

WORD-AFLAME LEADERSHIP COLLEGE ARE YOU HAVING AN EMOTIONAL AFFAIR?

ARE YOU HAVING AN EMOTIONAL AFFAIR?

By Gideon in Blog, MARRIAGE on December 24, 2018

If anybody asks you this question, you may go angry or livid because it sounds so insulting. Why? You are never the type of person that would have an affair outside your relationship/marriage. Well, that is because you do not know what an emotional affair is.
Emotional affair does not involve sex. It happens to people who are in courtship or engaged or married but very fond of somebody else who is not their spouse but if care is not taken and brake applied, it can lead to full blown sexual affair.
Emotional affair does not only happen to people in bad, unhappy marriages. It can happen to happy couples, morally sound people and deeply spiritual individuals who love God with all their hearts and hate sin. It can even happen to great men and women of God. How then do they fall into emotional affair?
Emotional affair is not easy to detect at the beginning. It all starts as plain, platonic friendship with the opposite sex whom you exchange
ideas with and find admirable -that’s all. The friend can be a colleague at work, a fellow worker at church, a course mate, the secretary to the boss at the office or the next door neighbour. They
are someone you find attractive and enjoy talking to. If you treat them like you treat any normal friends with no strings attatched, there is no
problem but if you are SECRETLY fond of them, there is a BIG PROBLEM.
>>>>>Also Read This :5 Secrets Of Great Relationships<<<<<
Emotional affair starts rearing its ugly head if you are always eager to see them, anxious to hear from them and you feel sad if a day passes without getting in touch with them. It escalates when you begin sharing deep personal issues, especially
relational or marital problems and you find their words very soothing -it’s like Valium, you can’t sleep without it. It progresses when there is subtle flirty compliments (e.g. “Each time I see you, I always feel like hugging you and staying there forever” or
“Can I give you a peck please?”), sweet names calling and you never do anything to stop them infact, you love it and always look forward to hearing more from them. You idolize them while comparing them with your spouse who always
falls short. You see them as your comforter, healer and the only one who UNDERSTANDS you.
You begin to keep your conversations with them a secret from your spouse and deny every accusation of having any affair with them (since you are not having sex).
You have chemistry for them and always sexually charged when thinking about them or talking to them. Now, PULL A BREAK!!!
You are threading on a very dangerous path while consoling yourself that you are not having sex. Most people, especially good people, do not plan cheating or adultery, it “just” happened when all red flags are ignored.
Face the fact that your relationship or marriage is sick that is why you are attracted to someone else and fix the problem. If you do not deal with your relationship or marital issues, you will keep pursuing them and end up sleeping with them and that is the beginning of the end of your relationship or marriage.
Pull back from that person and avoid discussing anything personal with them henceforth.
>>>>>Also Read This :Courtship, Engagement And The Wedding<<<<<
Come clean to your spouse and let them know you are getting attracted to someone else and you need their help. (You don’t need to give them the full detail of your attraction).
Stop all chats, be very polite with their calls or ignore their calls altogether if you get tempted to go back. Understand why you fell into emotional affair and take precautions lest you fall into another one. Know that you are human and it is very possible to feel attracted towards the opposite sex, just don’t pursue your object of attraction. Set boundaries. Do not entertain ungodly relationships.
Have a full understanding of emotional affair and protect your heart from being tempted.
Remember the bible says: “Let he that thinketh he standeth, take heed, lest he fall.” 1Cor 10:12. Take charge of your life, do not leave your relationships to chance.
*To promote Godliness and preserve families which is God’s institution, share with all in your families and friends. You might be saving a Marriage or relationship from collapsing. This applies to married and single individuals both male and female. To tell you the truth this is how INFIDELITY starts…so be warned

WORD-AFLAME LEADERSHIP COLLEGE Tips for Newly Married Couples

Tips for Newly Married Couples

By Gideon in Blog, MARRIAGE on July 18, 2017

Once you have decided to get married everything will revolve around the wedding day and making sure it is perfect. All your plans will need to be discussed and all the finances worked out. It will be expected that there will have to be some financial hardship in the run up as you will both want the day to be perfect. Nerves can become frayed and the relationship may seem to suffer but that will always be put down to pre wedding nerves. Once the big day has come and gone it will be expected that everything will get back to normal and you will have the perfect relationship you had beforehand.

It is now that the real work has to begin as quite often this will be the first time either of you has lived with anyone other than parents and siblings. Getting used to each other’s habits that may have either been not noticed or accepted as cute in the past when you only had to be confronted with them once a week can become annoying if they have to be endured day after day.

After the Wedding

From now on you and your partner are the people who are going to have to make all the decisions and ensure that the house runs smoothly. Everything that is done in the house has to be carried out by one or the other so decide early on how the workload will be split. At one time it was normal for the man to work outside the home and the woman to stay in the home so it was easier. Nowadays with both partners often working outside the house the housework has to be shared out.

Always treat each other as a best friend and not just as a spouse. Compliments should not end once you have tied the knot and just finding a minute each day to tell the other how special they are will keep you close and can make the other feel appreciated. It can be things such as “you are beautiful” but even remembering to say thank you for small favors will keep the relationship friendly and let the other one know you care.

Disagreements

There will be arguments and disagreements regardless of how long you have been married and there are good and bad ways to deal with conflict. There are occasions when there is not a simple solution and someone is going to have to lose. If you are making plans for a break and one wants to go for a week and the other a weekend, going for 5 days will be a compromise. If is it regarding going at all and one does not want to go anywhere and the other wants a break then one has to win and one has to lose. A simple solution to find out how important it is is to state how strongly you feel on the subject and grade it on a scale of 1-10. If it is really important to one then it may be best to go along with them. The main thing to check is if one partner always claims it is really important to them they are being selfish and always wanting their own way.

Always be open and honest about your feelings. A small argument can turn into a major row if you pretend nothing is wrong. If you are not prepared to listen to your partner when they have a problem they can easily turn to someone else. It may not be an affair or something that ends the marriage but once a friend knows more about how your partner feels than you do then it can be the beginning of a bigger problem.

Keep the Romance Alive

It is important to keep the romance alive so as you can always remember why it was you wanted to spend the rest of your lives together. Whereas you may have once had a candlelit dinner in a nice restaurant you can recreate the atmosphere in your own home. Keeping things light is also important. You may not be the funniest person in the world but if you can say something each day to make your partner laugh you will keep the relationship fresh and fun.

You may enjoy each other’s company but there is no need to spend every minute of every day together. Giving each other space can in fact bring you closer together. Just spending an hour or so in different rooms can give you time to yourself and mean that you look forward to being back together. Being able to do what you want to without fear of interruption will allow you to relax and recharge your batteries.

More Personal Issues

Accept your differences regardless of whether they are in or out of the bedroom. You fell in love with this person as they were so there is no need to try to change them. There may be little tweaks here and there but by and large no one wants to be told they need to change totally. If they suddenly get a list of things you don’t like, you may soon find that they are making a list for you.

The first five years have been considered to be the most crucial ones when it comes to setting a good foundation for a marriage. Marrying early can create problems and if there seem to be issues early on do not feel too embarrassed to go to a marriage counselor.

Money will not be important when you have plenty but as soon as it becomes scarce it is amazing how quickly the arguments will start. Don’t hide debts as it will be easier to stop them spiraling out of control. Don’t be ashamed to want a separate account as well as a joint one. It will be nice for both of you to have some money to spend as you please without worrying there will not be enough to pay the bills. When statements come in don’t be afraid to question an item. As long as you accept the same happening to you it can be healthy as it could be a mistaken deduction and if not questioned you could lose money.
>>>>>Also Read this: 4 common problems in marriage
Finally don’t be afraid to discuss sexual issues. There may be things that you would prefer to happen or not happen but are frightened to say. Your partner may feel the same way but be afraid to mention it. Even if they don’t they may not mind the fact that you wish to talk about it. Be open and honest and find out what each other really wants.

In all areas of your married life make sure that your partner feels important. You have both given up the way of life you were both used to and now you have someone else to consider. Always be honest about the way you feel regardless of what the issue is and discuss how to rectify any problems. When you have had your discussions always make sure the other is OK with the outcome. This is the person you could be hoping to spend the next 40 years of your life with and if things start to go wrong early on they may never get repaired. BY COLLEEN CRAWFORD.
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WORD-AFLAME LEADERSHIP COLLEGE 4 Common Problems in Marriage

4 Common Problems in Marriage

By Gideon in Blog, MARRIAGE on July 9, 2017

Every relationship has its share of ups, downs and middle ground. Some days, weeks and months are just better than others.

There are some very typical problems, however, that can crop up and wreak havoc on even the most seemingly perfect union. Tackling them effectively can lead to a happier, healthier relationship that lasts.

So, what are the four common relationship problems and how to fix them?

Let’s take a look at each of the four common relationship problems and how to fix them on a separate basis. There are tips that are specific to each individual issue. Employing them can put relationships back on track.

1. Sex

This is a major component of most healthy, loving relationships. Sex is how people show their passion for each other and feel more connected and closer, and it’s simply the most intimate act a couple can enjoy.

Unfortunately, sex isn’t always great between couples. It might not “feel right,” or it may not come often enough. Sometimes a partner is frigid; other times he or she is too demanding or rough.

So, when it comes to this one of the four common relationship problems and how to fix them, what can be done?

Try being more open with a partner about sexual desires, expectations and wants. Be willing to listen to your partner’s needs, as well. Never be embarrassed to say what is really on your mind.

Explore new and exciting ways of being close. Don’t fear trying something new. If you and your partner are in a loving, trusting relationship, adventure should not be a concern. Just keep the communication lines open and make “bedroom talk” safe.

It is perfectly natural for couples to grow apart sexually after some time together. This is when a daring streak or a willingness to try new things or increase the romance level can come in handy.

2. Money

Of the four common problems in relationships and how to fix them, this one can be the most tricky to deal with. Money is a very major concern for many people and how it is spent can lead to some serious arguments.

If money, a lack thereof or unnecessary expenditures are concerns, try these things:

* Create a budget
– Work together to create a budget that works for your unique situation. Do your part to help stick within the budget.

* Don’t make “sneaky” purchases – Hiding purchases, breaking the budget in secret and other ploys can create major issues. Don’t do these things. Do, however, try to build “fun money” into the budget or give yourselves allowances you can save to make special purchases.

* Stay in focus – When money is tight, tempers can run high. Keep yourself grounded in what is truly important. Jobs can be lost and finances can be in shambles, but a relationship can last, grow and thrive if partners work together and focus on what is truly important.

3. Communication

This particular concern in the four common relationship problems and how to fix them is typically at the heart of all other issues. Open, clear communication is essential for healthy relationships.

To fix a broken line of communication, try practicing good skills. This means stating issues clearly, listening as your partner responds and working together to find solutions. Keep tempers in check, agree to disagree and stick to one issue at a time.
>>>>>>Also Read this:My husband, I have been unfaithful

Communication in good relationships is “safe.” Partners don’t feel threatened by saying what is on their minds. They are respectful and work together to build themselves and their relationship.

4. Household chores

This is perhaps the most amusing of the four common relationship problems and how to fix them. It can be a serious bone of contention between couples, and it’s a very typical complaint.

Fixing this problem takes some team work for sure. Work together to divide jobs or take turns doing it all. Do jobs your partner hates doing or vice versa. If there’s something you both despise, take turns biting the bullet.

In a well-run household, everyone pitches in and does their share. Work together to make this happen and use good communication skills to get over the humps.

The four common relationship problems and how to fix them are needed by almost every couple at some point in life. Work on good communication skills together and you can solve most issues, and above all allow God and His word to build with you in your marriage/relationship.
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WORD-AFLAME LEADERSHIP COLLEGE 5 Secrets of Great Relationships

5 Secrets of Great Relationships

By Gideon in Blog, MARRIAGE on May 22, 2017

Have you ever seen a couple that’s been together a long time, but still looks hopelessly in love? Do you wish you could ensure your own relationship lasts that long and remains loving?

If you want to be in your golden years and still hold hands, cuddle and get along, there are some things you need to know. 

The five secrets of great relationships can be put to work in your life, and they can help you become happier, healthier and stronger as a couple.

So, how do some couples manage to stand the test of time and still smile, flirt and generate a feeling of love the whole world can notice? Here are some of the best-kept secrets of couples who really have it together:

1. Communication 

Solid, two-way communication is perhaps the most important of the five secrets of great relationships. If you’re not comfortable enough in your relationship to approach topics with openness, you have a problem.

Both parties in a relationship need to feel comfortable saying what’s on their minds without fear. Disagreements are perfectly OK, but sound communication skills to work through them with a positive outcome are vital.

2. Honesty 

This is essential for good communication, and it’s even more important in a good relationship. Being honest about feelings, wants, needs and desires is simply a must for longevity without regret or resentment. 

Both parties should feel comfortable saying what’s in their hearts.

3. Common interests 

Making room for common interests and some couple time are important parts of fostering love that lasts and the longevity of a relationship. 

This is among the most important of the five secrets of a great relationship because time together helps forge bonds that last.

Busy couples can still make some time by carving out “date nights,” taking up hobbies together or just taking out time at the end of a day to talk, cuddle or watch the sunset. It doesn’t matter what is done as long as it’s together as a couple without distractions.

4. Self-development 

As important as couple time is, so is development of self-interests. Strong couples tend to have strong partners. This means the individuals in a relationship have taken the time apart to develop into the people they truly want to be.

Couples that have loving, trusting and solid relationships don’t have to be together every second of the day to remain connected. 

Foster self-fulfillment and each half of the team can blossom. The end result is a stronger couple if self-development is carefully balanced with time together.

5. The bedtime rule 

There really is something to that old saying about never going to bed angry. Couples that understand the five secrets of great relationships know how important it is to get disagreements out in the open and resolved as quickly as possible.

While fighting is never an enjoyable moment, “fair fighting” can help relationships grow and couples grow stronger. To fight fair, stick to the topic, keep anger in check, state feelings clearly and listen to your partner’s input. Work together to resolve the issue.

As you work on incorporating the five secrets of great relationships into your life, remember that all couples have their ups and downs. 

Sometimes things go swimmingly, but there are other stretches when you really have to work hard at being good together.

If you want to be one of those “old couples” who still holds hands and enjoys gazing into each other’s eyes, every bit of effort will be worth it. The five secrets of great relationships can help you along the way. -Nick Morris, Spain.

WORD-AFLAME LEADERSHIP COLLEGE 10 TYPES OF HUSBAND

10 TYPES OF HUSBAND

By Gideon in Blog, MARRIAGE on December 5, 2016

1. BACHELOR HUSBAND: He does things on his own without consulting his wife. Hangs out a lot with friends more than wife. Not serious about marriage life.
2. ACIDIC HUSBAND: He is always boiling like acid and always angry, violent, moody, dominating and very dangerous.
3. SLAVE HUSBAND: Want to be treated like King and treat Wife
like a Slave. Likes wife to perform old traditional respect
and hates being called by their first name.
4. GENERAL HUSBAND: Husband for every woman. Loves
and cares for girlfriends more than his wife. Likes giving money to girlfriends and have more female friends.
5. DRY HUSBAND: Very moody and stingy and
don’t consider wife’s emotions and the relationship enjoyable.
Have no sense of humor.
6. PANADOL HUSBAND: Uses wife as problem solver only loves wife when needing something from her. He’s clever and knows wife’s
Weaknesses and capitalize on that and gets relief from wife.
7. PARASITE HUSBAND: Lazy and only loves wife for the sake of
money. Use wife’s money on girlfriends. Not initiative and does not help wife with house responsibilities.
8. BABY HUSBAND: Irresponsible, childish and can’t make decisions on his own without asking his mother or relatives; compares wife to relatives and runs to them always if something goes wrong.
9. VISITING HUSBAND: Not always at home come as a visitor Provides family all material things but have no time for them.
10. CARING HUSBAND: Caring and loving. Provides material and
Emotional needs and makes out time for family. Guides home spiritually. Very responsible and treats wife as partner and helper.

Please SHARE and let us help someone out  there!-Dr Oyedepo G O

UNCONTROLED EXPECTATION

By Gideon in Blog, MARRIAGE on November 21, 2016

Marriage is all beautiful and ought to be glorious, but can also be very though and turn sour if the couple (or one) is possessed with high expectation in all things, such will be driven with the spirit of assumption in almost all the time and the other (partner) will be suffering silently as if he or she is born with hidden or un-surfaced disability and the victim can also be possibly view as not knowledgeable, unintelligent, and un-spiritual enough.
Within a very short time, frustration will un-noticeably set in and gradual loss of relationship appetite will be the result.
So be careful to understand that all human are born with either visible or non visible weakness and christians are no exception.
So with the Spirit of God upon you, combined with agape love, always ready to impact on your spouse and not expecting so much from him or her! Only appreciate what he or she has grace to do in your relationship, accepting that it may be his/her ability from God for now and soon you continue to witness a gradual turn around in your life and marriage.
Paul Apostle said “But godliness with contentment is great gain. 1 Timothy 6:6”
Don’t ever forget to always appreciate God for giving him or her to you for a beautiful marital life and God bless you.

WORD-AFLAME LEADERSHIP COLLEGE 5 Things in Your Relationship

5 Things in Your Relationship

By Gideon in Blog, MARRIAGE on November 14, 2016

I have learned so much being in the marital relationship and I’d like to share a few things to be on the lookout for in your relationship.

1. Less comparing, more considering.

It’s an awesome idea to aspire to have a successful relationship like those around you, however it is critical that you do not fix your mind to think that your relationship has to be EXACTLY like your peers to be great. What works for one couple may or may not work for your relationship. So instead of trying to mold your relationship into an exact replica of someone else’s, consider the one you’re with. Think about your significant other’s personality, needs, and desires and figure out what works best for YOU.

2. There’s only ONE you.
There are no two people on this entire earth that are exactly the same. With that in mind, understand that no matter how similar you and your significant other may be you are STILL two different people. You will NOT always agree on things or have the same understanding on things simply because you are DIFFERENT.

3. Expect to LEARN.
Each experience you share with your fiance/spouse is NEW. Even if some things seem familiar it is still new because there’s no one else like your significant other. Their thoughts, actions, and reactions are theirs alone so you are bound to learn something new.

4. Remember.
Reminisce on what got you to the decision of committing yourself to your significant other. Think back and talk about how you all began as well as your desires for a relationship before you were in one. Remembering will keep you in mind of where you want to go.

5. God: Head, front, and center.
Pray, fast, read and discuss scripture together as well as individually. Disagreements, and uncomfortable moments will be WORLDS easier when you keep Jesus (and His word) before you, as well as making those good things even sweeter.-Please SHARE!