Tag: Christian

WORD-AFLAME LEADERSHIP COLLEGE 7 Don't in Marriage!

7 Don’t in Marriage!

By Gideon in Blog, MARRIAGE on September 16, 2019

This article “7 don’t in marriage” is part of my practical experience in marriage of which I know that the young couples and older ones will need to carefully work on them, for rich and smooth relationship with little or no hitches that is capable of jeopardizing this beautiful institute of God.
Although your marriage is unique, but almost the same experience of them all especially if it is built on Christ the solid rock. Hence, this tips could be a manual for great and lasting marriage.

1. Don’t IGNORE your spouse.

Be serious, be careful at every complain from your spouse, be it personal or general. If you ignore often, this may result to act of insensitivity which may be dangerous at times, it may even cost life, while some may be irreversible and then you will continue to live with the scares permanently forever. There is need for you to deal with negligence and lackadaisical approach to issues and situations. Learn to always respond swiftly to every complain, a stitch in time saves nine.

2. Don’t DENIAL your spouse’s right to you.

Your heart, your thinking and your entire life exclusively belongs to your spouse- deny your spouse of this great right is a sign of silent and gradual divorce, the relationship will gradually be loosing his savor- heart broken will eventually set in, and you know the result is the opposite of the plan of God for marriage.

3. Don’t DISRESPECT your spouse-openly.

Honor begot honor and respect is a reciprocal, avoid relegating your spouse in any form it could amount to disgrace and the fabric of love will be tearing and wearing gradually.
WORD-AFLAME LEADERSHIP COLLEGE 7 Don't in Marriage!
4. Don’t SUBDUE your spouse.

The fact remains that you are one flesh, but of two different destiny and one is bound to be greater in life than the other and your glory either are not equal from God and so He did not made a mistake for allowing you together. Accept the grace of God on individual, have the heart that, the success of your spouse is your glory and always appreciate God for this gift. The best you can do in life for your spouse is to help fulfill his/ her God’s giving vision.

5. Don’t DISCONNECT your spouse for any reason.

Should in case of doubt at any point in time in your marriage, always learn to hear your spouse out. Keep the knot strong and stronger, marriage is the only beautiful relationship you can ever have. Therefore, If you handle it properly it can prolong life with absolute tranquility.
Also Read This: Improving The Marriage Relationship
6. Don’t often PREEMPT your spouse.

Yes, you have known and trust your spouse very well, but sometimes you may need explanation for a particular action. But if you are so quick to presume in a matter, you may end up in becoming too haste and judgmental in your approach to an issue you ought to patiently ask for reason for better understanding. You can avoid hurting your spouse carelessly with gentile and loving approach at all time.

7. Don’t COMPETE with your spouse.

You are to compliment each other and not to compete, avoid generating unnecessary rancor. You are not likely to have the same needs met at the same time, yours may come later. Everything in your marriage is also yours including that of your spouse, therefore learn to always be comfortable with godly maturity to enjoy your marriage together. God bless your marriage/relationship. By Dr. G O Oyedepo
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WORD-AFLAME LEADERSHIP COLLEGE THE CHURCH AND THE WORLD

THE CHURCH AND THE WORLD

By Gideon in Blog, Spirituality on July 28, 2019

I have not been in the church for a long time….I was not there on the day of Pentecost…

I was not there when Brother Stephen had to endured the cruel stones of angry religious people who were mad at his biting words…

I was not present when the church rose in unison to save the head of Peter who was already in the dungeon of Herod Agrippa 2 who had silenced the first son of Zebedee among the twelve…

I was not among the congregation that listened as elders read from the handwritings of Paul, Peter or John…

I have not been in the church for a long time! BUT!!! I have been in the church for some time.Long enough to see the era when the world was different from the church.

I saw the days when the world looked at the church with respect and reverence.

I saw the days when “born again” experience was the sincere bridge through which men crossed from the world to the church.

I saw the days of “SU” (scripture union) revivals when all truly converted people were so labelled by the world.

I saw the days when men responded to altar calls not with chewing gums in their mouths but with tears in their eyes, broken and truly submissive before the altar of God.

I have not been in the church for a long time! I have not been in the church for a long time.

BUT!!! I saw the days when men of God were not men of gold.

I saw the days when Reverends were not laughing stocks in the society but men given the honour of the God they truly represent.

I saw the days when men went to church to meet preachers and not entertainers.

I saw the days when the pulpit was not a place for comic reliefs or centers of business discussions but God’s holy altars from where holy fire proceeded to consume evil works in men’s lives.
>>>>>Also Read This :Pastor W. F Kumuyi’s Message To The Churches<<<<<
I saw the days the Spirit of God would expose the secret evils of men when they came to worship and men would not dare come to His presence with sins not yet repented of.

I saw the days when the church was a centre of transformation and God’s workshop where men’s lives were fabricated and moulded after Him.

I have not been in the church for a long time.
BUT!!! I saw the days when churches were not business centres and human empires.
I saw the days when humility was the hallmark of Christian service and men of God were content with that simple life of Christ and would not hoodwink their hungry congregations to pay through their noses for the luxury and extravagance of pulpit business men.

I saw the days when collection of money was never a means for motivating God to answer prayers.

I saw days when men prayed, lifting holy hands and not 1000 euro notes in prayer meetings.

I saw days when men of God were empowered by the Holy Spirit to raise men and not trained by godless motivational speakers to raise offerings.

I saw the days when Jesus was the centre of all messages, heaven was the centre of all focuses and holiness was the centre of all Christian character.

HONESTLY, I don’t know for how long I will remain in the church on this side of eternity. NAY,I do not know for how long the church will remain before the harvest of her Lord.

BUT, my heart bleeds for the modern day church.

Oh! The church of the computer age.

Nay, the church of the ICE age.

The church where men play more than pray.

The church where holiness is a denominational doctrine.
WORD-AFLAME LEADERSHIP COLLEGE THE CHURCH AND THE WORLD
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The church where those who speak the truth are extremists and biased.

I weep for the modern day Church-I see self-adverts and miracle hawking in the name of ministry.

I weep as I see the church married to the world and the world enjoying the driver’s seat of the church.

I weep when I see a church that is a million miles wide but less than a meter deep.

Although I have not been in the church for a long time, I weep brethren for what I see the church turning to in my generation.

I weep because my children and their generation do not see what I saw in the days past.

I have not been in the church for a long time!

BUT!!! I notice everyday that the Bible is the same in every age and generation.

I have read times without number what is written in 1 Peter 2:9:”BUT YE ARE A CHOSEN GENERATION, A ROYAL PRIESTHOOD, AN HOLY NATION, A PECULIAR PEOPLE; THAT YE SHOULD SHEW FORTH THE PRAISES OF HIM WHO HATH CALLED YOU OUT OF DARKNESS INTO HIS MARVELLOUS LIGHT”.

I keep wondering the peculiarity of the church in today’s world. Well, I have not been in the church for a long time!

I have not been in the church for a long time. BUT!!! I have been there long enough to know that the Foundation of God still stands sure and also long enough to know that the Lord still knows those who are His and everyone that is named with Christ must depart from iniquity.

I have been in the church long enough to understand that not everyone that calls Jesus Lord will enter His heavenly home.

For said “MANY WILL SAY TO ME IN THAT DAY, LORD, LORD, HAVE WE NOT PROPHESIED IN THY NAME? AND IN THY NAME HAVE CAST OUT DEVILS? AND IN THY NAME DONE MANY WONDERFUL WORKS? AND THEN WILL I PROFESS UNTO THEM, I NEVER KNEW YOU: DEPART FROM ME, YE THAT WORK INIQUITY” (Matthew 7:22-23).

Beloved, how long have you been in the church and what gospel have you been made to believe?

I hope it is not one that will put your eternity in serious jeopardy?

Think on these things and heed the warning of God from a sincere believer. I have not been in the church for a long time but I desire to be with the Master; my loving Saviour and my Lord throughout eternity.

I HOPE THIS IS ALSO YOUR SINCERE DESIRE!

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WORD-AFLAME LEADERSHIP COLLEGE WHY ARE YOU IN RELATIONSHIP?

WHY ARE YOU IN RELATIONSHIP?

By Gideon in Blog, MARRIAGE on October 20, 2018

Literarily, I have been seeing disturbing pictures and stories of females who stay with men who are violent in the name of I LOVE YOU and I asked myself, a lot of times. At the expense of your life, why?

Now, this is the deal. No one is advising you not to be persistent in relationship as singles. I quite understand very well that there are spiritual manipulations in some marital cases but then I ask myself and tell people. Know when to step aside and when to stay in.

I remember some years back I was in a relationship and I suddenly discovered I had lost who I was and my sanity and person. While the so called guy was happy I was unhappy.

I was so blessed this wonderful Sunday morning as Dan Foster was on Inspiration FM playing a message by Bishop TD Jakes, after the message, I started telling myself you must be a fool. A guy you not even married to.

I took a good bath, dressed up and went for a good walk, around as this gave me room to think. I came back home feeling the best and started putting my heads in the right things and actions.

Now, females, these are the mistakes always rearing up that you make.

1. You don’t get involved in a relationship out of self pity.

2. You don’t get involved in a relationship because you think his being overprotective means love.

3. You don’t get involved in a relationship because you feel so lonely.

4. You don’t get involved in a relationship because you feel insecure and unprotected.

5. You don’t get involved in a relationship because you feel its too late.

6. You don’t get involved in a relationship because you feel others are doing it.

7. You don’t get involved in a relationship because that guy is fine and handsome.

8. You don’t get involved in a relationship because you want financial gratification.

9. You don’t get involved in a relationship because people think you should.

10. You don’t get in a relationship out of self pity.

Know the reason why you want to be in a relationship.
WORD-AFLAME LEADERSHIP COLLEGE WHY ARE YOU IN RELATIONSHIP?
Here are tips for you;

1. Sit down, analyse yourself and what you want in a man and a relationship with him (remember, if you are useless you will analyse having a useless man, if you are goaless, you will analyse being with a goaless man. Who you are is who you will get. Work on yourself).

2. Have a strong and sound relationship with God, ask for spiritual guidance and don’t jump ahead of spiritual guidance. Like some people do, before they are told wait. They’ve gone 10 steps ahead, then trouble starts.

3. Develop yourself, build your mind, build your attitude, build your character because in the end you will be able to say if I am not like that, I don’t want a guy like that.

4. Keep your body. It belongs to you. Any guy who says proof your love to me by having sex with me. Just in the word of Praise Fowowe “tell him to go dance naked 3 days in the market and highway to prove it”, because in the end when he snatches your dignity from you, nakedness is what follows.

5. Decide not to settle for anything less in choosing a godly partner.

6. Decide never to tolerate any form of violence, verbal abuse or physical abuse or emotional abuse.

7. Ensure you know not just his financial stability, but how he can handle his finances. I am not asking you to dot after rich men, but there is what is called family accounting system. Is he detailed, so you guys don’t run bankrupt, because of mismanagement. Remember you need to be a judicious spender too yourself to figure that out in him.

8. Make sure he has goals, visions, purpose, because if he does he will be busy creating a world with you to achieve that instead of jumping from skirts to skirts. More so, if he sees value in you other than sex, child bearing and chores the better. Add value to your own life so you can be valuable to him.

9. Know his stands on domestic violence. Know his anger level. I laugh a lot at people who say, he or she will change. Sorry, that’s an error. Its you that would conform to being miserable at the end, if not careful.

10. Be a friend of the Word of God. Constantly ask God, seek God, Know God. I had to repeat this again to make you see its necessity.

11. Don’t take an over possessive guy as a choice of partner. In the end they care less.
WORD-AFLAME LEADERSHIP COLLEGE WHY ARE YOU IN RELATIONSHIP?
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12. Ensure he is in love with his positive personality and also appreciates himself and not what people or females think of him. People who value themselves value others positively.

13. Don’t, don’t, don’t, fight over him. If he is worth it and deserves your love, you won’t need to struggle to have him. Ladies, I see fight ladies over guys to me are cheap skate, because if you fight a billion females, if he will sleep with a trillion he will still do it. Know your worth.

14. Ensure he references certain people in authority, because if he does not, you’re in for a big mess.

15. Be sincere with yourself. Create no idol in your heart towards any guy so you can think freely.

16. Get that ideology of love is blind out of your head. Love is not blind go read 1Cor 13. Its lust that blinds you from reality.

17. Be with a man who wants to correct your mistake in love. That way you progress. Not the one who sees you’re wayward and let’s you continue that way.

18. Sex gratification is not a relationship, stay away from guys who wants to use you for that. They are evil.
>>>>>Also Read This:The Truth About Living Together Before Marriage<<<<<
19. Don’t jump after so called spirit filled church activist. The ones who are in every department in the church, although its a blessing to have such but be careful, so pray and accept the one with God in his heart and is God’s choice for you.

20. Learn to control your emotions, feelings, desire and utterances.

21. Read good developmental books that would nourish your mind, spirit and develop your brain.

I pray God guides you in following Him for the right partner in Jesus name! Amen!
Written by :Tolu Eyinfunjowo.

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WORD-AFLAME LEADERSHIP COLLEGE CHRISTIAN AND DATING SERVICE

CHRISTIAN AND DATING SERVICE

By Gideon in Blog, MARRIAGE on August 12, 2018

I got this article online and hope it will help you!

Question: “Should a Christian use a Christian dating service to find a spouse?”

Answer: The Bible doesn’t talk about dating services. In fact, it doesn’t even tell us how to “date” or “court,” or whatever term we use for the process we use to get to know a potential mate. In the Bible times, dating did not exist in the same form that we see it today. Back then, families helped young women and men meet and become engaged and often chose their children’s mates for them. Today, while familial involvement is still the norm in many cultures, in many others, singles are more on their own to find a mate. Some singles don’t bother to look for a spouse, believing God will bring the person to them, while others are forever on a search for one, fearing they may miss him or her. There should be a balance, as we remember that God is perfectly loving (Ephesians 3:18; 1 John 3:16-18) and perfectly sovereign over every situation, desire, and need (Psalm 109:21; Romans 8:38-39). God uses our choices, other people, and sometimes even modern technology, to bring about marriages.

Before a Christian single considers any of the “newer” methods of finding a spouse like using a Christian dating service, it’s helpful to consider whether we may be engaging in any self -defeating behavior. Is it possible we are being too picky, looking for the fairytale prince or princess, and by doing so, limiting the possibilities of what God may know is best for us and which we have not yet considered? Are we not being picky enough, forgetting that God calls all Christians to marry only other Christians (2 Corinthians 6:14), or are we considering someone who is stuck in a serious, life- altering sin that could endanger the marriage? A Christian man should take the lead in relationships and making sure their relationship glorifies Christ in all things.

A Christian woman should let the man take the initiative as the leader God made him to be. And, finally, as believers, we should be able to stand on our own two feet, relying on the Lord to fulfill us rather than feeling a need to be married in order to be whole. Once we have these common struggles sorted out, we can begin to pursue a woman, or be pursued by a man, with an eye towards marriage.
>>>>>>>Also Read This :The Truth About Living Together Before Marriage<<<<<<<
As in all decisions, we should ask God to direct us clearly. It can be difficult to meet single Christian men and women, especially if most of our friends have already married. We can put ourselves in a position to meet other Christians by looking for a church singles group. We may want to volunteer for a cause we care about or join other groups, being sure that we are doing it because we enjoy it, not just because we want to meet as many potential mates as possible. Some people prefer to meet their spouse through friends, family, or in a chance meeting out in the world, and many do just that. But others believe they are limited in the people they meet because of their profession, the size of their city, or the nature of their activities. For these people, it may be wise to consider other methods. Some of the modern methods of finding a mate include internet or online dating, professional matchmaking services, and speed dating. Each has its pros and cons, and none is right for everyone. Before beginning any of these methods, we should begin in prayer, asking God whether it is the step He wants us to take.
Internet dating is currently the most popular alternative way to meet singles. There are several Christian dating services as well as secular services that allow users to limit their searches to Christians. (Please note that Got Questions Ministries does not endorse any particular Christian or secular dating service site).

WORD-AFLAME LEADERSHIP COLLEGE CHRISTIAN AND DATING SERVICE

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One major downfall of internet dating is that you can never be sure who is being honest and who is pretending to be someone they’re not. The result of a deception can be humorous, but it may also be deadly. It’s a good idea to never answer any communication from someone from another country, unless you are able to conduct an extensive background check on him or her. Some of these people are trying to con the men and women they meet. Be careful about any personal details you share via online communication. It is also wise to meet the person face -to-face before becoming too emotionally intimate via email communication. When you do meet for the first time, do so in a public place— never allow them to drive you anywhere or take you somewhere where you will be alone. It is wise to plan a double date, so that a close friend can offer his or her opinion on this (let’s face it) complete stranger. Listen to your instincts and get away fast if you ever feel you are in any danger. Warnings aside, though, many happy Christian marriages have come out of internet dating.
>>>>>>>Also Read This :The Tragedy Of Divorce And Remarriage<<<<<<<
Professional matchmaking services are usually safer than internet dating, but are less popular, and don’t always have a very large pool of people to choose from. They can also be more expensive, usually involve more extensive applications, and require some type of background check. But, if done safely and wisely, professional matchmaking can potentially lead to a successful Christian marriage.

WORD-AFLAME LEADERSHIP COLLEGE CHRISTIAN AND DATING SERVICE

Speed dating is where singles circulate systematically through a room of tables in order to assess a potential date in only a few minutes per rotation. At the end of the night, they turn in a card that indicates with whom they would be willing to be matched up. The couples who have mutual interest will receive each other’s contact information. Again, if done safely and wisely, this can potentially lead to a successful Christian marriage.

In all of the choices we make, though, it’s crucial to remember that it is God— not us— who brings us together with a spouse. As simple as it may sound, we shouldn’t have to work to find our spouse; we should be living out our lives with any desires for a spouse on the back burner and our desires for knowing God at the forefront of our hearts.
>>>>>>>Also Read This :The Christian Home<<<<<<<
Seek God and He will fulfill (or change) your desires (Psalm 103:5; Romans 12:2) in His perfect way and His perfect time (Romans 5:6; 8:26-27). Would we want it any other way? Look at the story of Isaac and Rebekah and how God brought them together (Genesis 24). It was sovereignly planned and controlled by God. God holds our every moment in His hands (Psalm 31:15), and He will not let us slip through the cracks of His gentle fingers. He cradles our lives and our hearts in His hands, and He will not forget His children. If God has intended marriage for you, He will bring it to fruition and will be faithful to guide you in your role in bringing it about. In the meantime, seek God in what He has for you now. God has a purpose for each of us, single or married, and it is a shame to miss living His purpose fully for you in whatever season you are in by becoming too focused on whatever season He has in store for you next.
Courtesy: Got Questions Ministries.

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WORD-AFLAME LEADERSHIP COLLEGE Pastor and Businesses of Church Members

Pastor and Businesses of Church Members

By Gideon in Blog, Faith and Work on March 20, 2018

I just got this article by Dr. Steve Greene and hope it will impact on you as a Pastor and minister to be of great blessings to all the business men in the Church. This is 5 Ways Pastors can Impact Businesses of Church Members.
Perhaps your church is blessed to have business leaders attend your services. You are gifted to lead business leaders to the kingdom of God. But do you know how to help their businesses?
Bringing the Lord into a business is not much different than bringing Him into a home. We need to be attentive to the individual first. When a leader is radically saved, his impact at home and work should show the first display of fruit.
I’ve met business owners who were able to work out their salvation at home but not in the workplace. The connection between the workplace and the kingdom was never really established. In my experience, the church as a whole is weak in teaching about the Holy Spirit within the marketplace.
Church leaders have a critical role in the establishment of the kingdom of God in the marketplace.
I encourage you to read this story about my friend Ted Robertson who owns the highly successful Robertson Tire chain in Oklahoma. This is a good starting point for understanding how a business owner can impact as many or more souls than a local pastor.
Today, I simply want to share a few first steps leaders should be making to engage business owners:

1. Visit the business.

Get to know the business and the work. Ask God for spiritual understanding about the inner workings of the business. While in the business, pray for favor on behalf of the business. Just as with home visits, pray that the Holy Spirit will be “welcome in this place.”

2. Don’t ask for money.
Leave this to the Lord. I’ve spoken with MANY business owners who feel the church is only interested in their money. Along the way, someone has communicated that the role of a business leader is to fund church capital projects. Love the leader and his business.
>>>>>>Also Read This: 7 Questions For Young Pastors !<<<<<<
3. Engage the leader.
Business leaders are frequently very good team leaders. Ask the leader to serve in an area in which you need a strong team leader. Listen to their ideas. Good business leaders have a good eye for growth opportunities.

4. Accept the challenge.
Business leaders will likely challenge areas of observed weakness. They will tell you about your parking lot, bathrooms or child care problems. Business owners will see weaknesses and make suggestions. I’ve never been challenged by a business leader on spiritual matters.

5. Lead the leader to walk in the Spirit.
Perhaps this is the most difficult challenge in leading business leaders. Our job is to teach leaders to walk by faith and not focus upon things seen. The practical side of a business leader can be quite fleshly. Teach and model.
>>>>>Also Read This: Becoming A More Productive Pastor<<<<<
A Spirit-led business can change the marketplace. When we invite the Holy Spirit into a business, we can expect to see and hear by the inspiration of God. The vision of the business will likely be altered to come into alignment with God’s purpose for the business.
How could your local community be impacted by Spirit-led business owners?
Does your platform reach business owners?

Word for thought:

“The first came, saying, ‘Master, your pound has made ten pounds more.‘ He said to him, ‘Well done, good servant! Because you have been faithful in very little, take authority over ten cities.’ The second came, saying, ‘Master, your pound has made five pounds more.’ He said in like manner to him, ‘You, take authority over five cities.'” (Luke 19:16-19).
God bless you!
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WORD-AFLAME LEADERSHIP COLLEGE The Christian Home

The Christian Home

By Gideon in Blog, MARRIAGE on January 25, 2018

The nearest thing to heaven on earth is the Christian family and home, where husband and wife, parents and children, live together in love and peace, devoted to God and to each other. By way of contrast, the nearest thing to hell on earth is the ungodly home, broken by sin and iniquity, where parents quarrel and bicker and separate, and where children are given over to the forces of wickedness to be brought up with scarcely any training at all.

The word “home” likely takes your mind back across the years, and for some the mind goes across hundreds of miles of space—to the spot which will be forever hallowed in your memories among all places on earth. You are reminded of the place where you grew up as a boy or as a girl, playing around the yard with brothers and sisters and neighbor children, and where you sat around the old range stove on a winter evening with your mother and dad and the rest of the family. There are several things about that old home-place which are not true about any other spot on earth.

In this message we want to see what the Bible says about the duties of the various members of the family to each other and to the Lord.

1. Duties of Wives To Their Husbands

a) The Christian wife is to be subject to her husband.
Ephesians 5:22-23 says, “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church.”

Marriage is not a 50-50 proposition. The husband and the wife are not to bejointly in the place of headship. Our Lord plainly says, “The husband is the head of the wife.” This does not mean that the wife is less important in the home than the husband or that she is to be a slave of the husband, but it does mean that she is to submit to the leadership role of her husband. The only exception would be if he asks her to violate clear scriptural teachings (Acts 5:29).
>>>>>Also Read This: The Truth About Living Together Before Marriage<<<<<
The Lord commands husbands to love their wives, and if the husband loves his wife as Christ loved the church, she will have no difficulty with being subject to him. When problems arise (and they will arise), they should be carefully discussed together. A vote should be taken. If both agree—good. But in the case of a tie (the wife votes one way and the husband votes the other), then the husband should cast the deciding vote. The husband should assume the final leadership in the home.

b) The wife is to respect and admire her husband.
Ephesians 5:33 says, “Let every one of you (husbands) . . . so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.”

The wife should respect her husband. This seems to be true even for the wife who has an unsaved husband (1 Peter 3:1). What kind of life are you living before your husband? Does he see in you true Christian living? Are you cheerful, loving, loyal, and obedient? Some wives drive their husbands away from Christ because they don’t respect them. Instead of being cheerful and obedient, they are noted for preaching and nagging. Nothing breaks the spirit of a man more quickly than a nagging wife.

c) The Christian wife is to be a keeper at home.
Titus 2:4-5 says, “Teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home.”

The home is to be the sphere of the woman’s influence. There are too many families that have such a high standard of living that mother has to work away from home to help pay the bills. Then in the evening, when happy family activities should take place, mother’s energy is all spent, and pressing duties don’t permit her that happy fellowship. There may be some exceptions, but generally speaking, the father is to be the breadwinner and the mother is to be the keeper at home.

2. Duties of Husbands To Their Wives

a) The husband is to honor and respect his wife.
We are instructed in 1 Corinthians 7:3, “Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence.”

The husband is to show due courtesies to his wife. It is pathetic to see how some young men can play the part of a gentlemen, be courteous, gracious, and show respect to young ladies when they are courting them—and then after marriage, they come home and scold and nag and become sullen and bitter. The Christian husband is to remember that it is no easy thing for his wife to keep house, care for the children, and experience the vexing things that come along with the daily duties of home life. Let the husband render to his wife due courtesies.

b) The husband is to consider her physical frailty.
1 Peter 3:7 admonishes, “Husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel.”

The husband is to keep in mind that his wife is generally speaking physically more frail than he. Each husband should be careful not to create additional unnecessary work for his wife. And yet when some husbands leave the house in the morning, it seems like a windstorm has gone through, and when they come home at night they are careless about dragging dirt into the house. If we husbands would close our doors and hang up our clothes we may have more pleasant wives.

c) The husband is to truly love his wife.
Colossians 3:19 says, “Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.”

The husband is to demonstrate true affection for his wife. He should tell herthat he loves her, and he is to treat her with the same love and gentleness and kindness he showed her while he was courting her. How long is it, husband, since you remembered her with those little tokens of love (a box of candy or a bouquet of flowers) which you were eager to shower upon her during courtship days? If you have been neglecting this duty—go to your wife, apologize for your thoughtlessness, take out your family Bible, read the record of your marriage, and brighten up that old love! If husbands and wives would work as hard to keep each other as they once did to catch each other, most domestic home problems would be forever solved. The spirit of courtship needs to be continued throughout married life.

3. Duties of Children To Their Parents

a) Children should honor their parents.
God says in Ephesians 6:2, “Honor thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise.”
>>>>>Also Read This: Tips For Newly Married Couples<<<<<
It is the duty of every child to respect and honor his parents. If you are inclined to be ashamed of them, remember that they cared for you when you were altogether unable to care for yourself. We sometimes forget that our mothers endangered their lives for our sakes; we are ungrateful for the weary toil of our fathers; we fail to appreciate the many sleepless nights that they went through in order that we might be comfortable. All of us owe our parents honor and respect and courtesy.

b) Children should accept instruction from parents.
We read in Proverbs 1:8, “My son, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother.”

That admonition is very simple. Children can easily understand it. It is wise to heed the instructions of parents because the advice and mandates which Christian parents give are generally intended for the welfare of the child.

c) Children should diligently obey their parents.
Children are instructed in Colossians 3:20, “Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing unto the Lord.”

One of the most beautiful Scriptures regarding the childhood of Jesus is the one which says, “He went down to Nazareth and was subject unto them.” If Jesus, the eternal Son of God, was subject to family authority, then certainly every child ought to obey his parents. One of the saddest New Testament Scriptures is the one that says, in the last days children shall be “disobedient to parents.” A child should never call his dad “the old man” and his mother “the old lady.” Children—treat your parents as you’ll wish you had treated them when you say your last goodbye to them and when you take that last look at mother and daddy as they lie before you in their caskets.

4. Duties of Parents To Their Children

a) Parents should teach their children.
Deuteronomy 6:6-7 says, “And these words which I command thee this day shall be in thine heart; and thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shall talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.”

Bear in mind that every child is born into this world with a sinful nature, and that the cute cooing baby in his cradle will soon demonstrate that he has a will of his own. He will lustily scream if he doesn’t get his own way. Thus every child needs to be taught diligently. Reading and quoting the Bible in your home should be just as natural as talking about the weather. Teach them the way of salvation. Read to them from wholesome literature. Memorize Bible verses with them. It is amazing how much truth a child’s mind can absorb.

b) Parents should be good examples for their children.
The passage in Deuteronomy 6:6 says, “And these words . . . shall be in thine heart, and thou shalt teach them.”

The Word of God must first be in the parents’ hearts! Children are great imitators. We have all seen little girls wearing the clothes of older persons. They want to be like mother. The best way to “train up a child in the way he should go” is to go that way yourself. Most children want to be the kind of man or woman their mother and dad is.
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c) Parents should discipline their children.
Proverbs 29:15 says, “The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.”

The New Testament says that children shall be brought up in the “nurture and admonition of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4). The word for “nurture” actually refers to “discipline.” Some don’t use the rod, but if you want to ruin your children, just give in to their every desire and you can be assured that the job of ruination will soon be complete. I have seen children throw themselves on the floor and kick and scream and insist on getting their own way, and the parents said, “Let them alone, they must express themselves!” God have mercy on parents who fail to discipline and admonish their children. The Bible tells of God’s judgment on one family because the father (who was a good man engaged in the service of the Lord) failed to discipline his sons (1 Samuel 3:13).

May God help us to live “at home” so sweetly, so tenderly, and so lovingly—that the memories we make within our homes may be music in the heart, sweeter than the songs that angels sing, and may our family circles be unbroken in the world to come.

-By Harold S. Martin
Used by permission of Bible Helps, P O Box 391, Hanover PA 17331.USA

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WORD-AFLAME LEADERSHIP COLLEGE Improving The Marriage Relationship

Improving The Marriage Relationship

By Gideon in Blog, MARRIAGE on September 27, 2017

It has been evident in recent years that marriage relationships are deteriorating in our society. Satan is trying to destroy the home, but we praise God for every effort toward its preservation.

God’s blessing is upon the husband-wife relationship. Proverbs 18:22 says, “Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favor of the Lord.” Not only does marriage and the husband-wife relationship have a blessing from the Lord, but also in God’s Word we are given guidelines by which we can maintain the husband-wife relationship as God intended it to be. Marriage was meant to be a blessed relationship.
And so we ask the question—is your husband-wife relationship a blessed relationship, or is it a strained ordeal?

1. What the Marriage Relationship Should Be Like

In Ephesians 5 we observe that the husband-wife relationship is compared to that of Christ and the Church. In other words, our model indicates that the husband-wife relationship is one that lasts forever, a kinship that grows sweeter as the years go by, a relationship that provides an example of peace and joy, a relationship that will weather the storms and trials of life, and one against which the gates of Hell cannot prevail. Hopefully we can say that by the grace of God we have found our relationship in the home to be that way.

Even children can quickly sense whether mother and father really love each other and whether there is the warmth of love in their home, or whether there is a distance and a coldness between the parents. You may remember the story about the home that was preparing for a wedding. Big sister was getting married and little sister was all eyes and ears to know what was going on and what this was all about. One day she heard them talking about the marriage vows. She said, “What’s that all about?” Mother answered, “Well, that is when big sister and her boyfriend will promise to love and always be kind to each other as long as they live.” Little sister thought a moment, and said, “Well then, you mean that you and daddy aren’t always married.” It is quite clear that our children know what kind of relationship we really have.
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I read about a husband whose job required that the family move frequently. While he was temporarily assigned work in one particular area, his family lived in a small hotel room. One day the little girl (for want of a bigger place to play) was playing “doll-house” down in the lobby. One kind lady passed through the hallway, and tried to be helpful and sympathetic. She said to the little girl, “It’s a pity that you don’t have a home of your own.” The little girl responded, “Oh, we do have a home; we just don’t have a house to put it in.” Can you say your relationship is such that you have a home even if your house is less than adequate? If father and mother are happy together, that contentment is conveyed to the children. Judge Gilliam says, “The lack of affection between father and mother is the greatest source of delinquency that I know.” Is your relationship what you would like it to be? Does it bother you when you see another couple that seems to really be happy?

2. Ways To Improve the Marriage Relationship

All sincere married partners want to improve their marriage. No couples should ever be satisfied where they are. In school, we learned a little motto which goes like this: “Good, better, best! Never let it rest until your good is better and your better is best!”

One couple whose marriage was just about on the rocks determined that they were going to improve their marriage by God’s help. The husband describes what they did: “We got together and took a pencil and paper and each wrote down the things we did not like about the other. We had a long list. When done, we exchanged the papers, and we found it was difficult to face each other’s list. We walked together to a point where we burned the papers and watched them go up in flames. Then we came back and sat down and started making a list of things we liked about each other. This was difficult too, but when the lists were completed, we exchanged the papers and looked at them. Later we framed them and hung them in our bedroom, so that each morning when we arise we can see what our partner likes, and concentrate on doing those positive things. By God’s grace, it has transformed our marriage.” If your marriage is not what you would like it to be, and you really seriously mean business—by God’s grace, it can be improved. However you must be willing to work at it.

(a) Avoid comparing your marriage with other marriages

It is a tragic mistake to look at the marriage relationship of another couple and to wish that your relationship would be like theirs. According to 2 Corinthians 10:12, we should not be among the number who compare ourselves among ourselves, because such people are not wise. Our human nature tends to see the good points (the “plus” points) in others who are more distant from us, and the bad points (the “minus” points) in those who are closer to us. If we keep looking at the minus points, we will have a different outlook in life. Remember that the grass always looks greener on the other side of the fence, but keep in mind too that the closer you are to the circumstances, the easier it is to see the faults.

A magazine article pointed out what it called “an ideal marriage” between a state governor and his wife. Yet it was only a matter of a few years until their marriage was on the rocks. From a distance the marriage looked successful, but it must not have been quite as great as the writer thought. We need to stop looking around and stop comparing our relationship with that of another husband and wife. We must realize that couples are different. God did not intend that all of us should conduct our homes in the same way, and that we should all like the same things—or He would have made us all over the same carbon copy. Some couples like to be on the go almost all the time, almost every night of the week. Then there are other couples whose nature it is to stay home much of the time. In some homes, the wife is reserved and the husband is outgoing; in others, the wife can not sew and the husband is not a businessman. We must accept the fact that God has made us all different, and then we must concentrate on just being ourselves in the light of Ephesians 5:21 which says, “Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.” Most of the time we overlook that verse and think only upon the following verses which tell us that husbands should “love” and wives should “submit.” But actually,Ephesians 5:22-23 gives the further instructions once we have accepted the point of verse 21, “Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.” In other words, we should not look at other people, but submit ourselves to each other and work out the marriage relationship which God has ordained for us.

(b) Build an attitude of trust toward your partner

Do you as married partners really trust each other? Can you (the husband) say to your wife: “Am I really worthy of your trust? Do you feel that you will be my `one and only’ forever?” Do you as a husband (or as a wife) enjoy being with your partner more than with anyone else? You will want to be together as much as possible. People today speak very lightly about trust and the high ideal of a solid marriage relationship. Even secular counselors tell us they are finding out that the kind of loose living which is common today simply is not working. It doesn’t work because until one is really committed to another person for life, he cannot actually give himself wholeheartedly to that person.

Many ask what is wrong with pre-marital sex and mention that “everybody is doing it,” and they argue that no one is going to find out about the relationship anyhow. But you cannot really give yourself physically or emotionally or spiritually until you can trust each other and know that the relationship will last for life. If you are one who thinks that there is not much wrong with pre-marital sex, it will be difficult for your partner to trust you. If, on the other hand, you count fornication as a wicked sin, your partner can much more readily trust you. If you were loose in your living before your marriage, how can your partner trust you after marriage? When passion wears out, how will your partner know that you will not go out and try some other thrill when you are bored with her?

God’s Word says we are to confess our faults one to another (James 5:16), and this is good advice for married couples as an aid in building trust. Some might say that “What my partner doesn’t know won’t hurt him.” But we are spiritual beings and not mere physical creatures. We can cover up the past, but there is always the possibility your partner will find it out, and so it is best to confess your misdeeds. This will help build trust and will lead to a happier marriage relationship.
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When someone says “My partner does not trust me”—one of the first questions I ask is: “What have you done to cause your partner to feel that way?” The partner must not necessarily be blamed. You may be the one to blame if your companion does not trust you. I believe that if we husbands feel our partners do not trust us, then we ought to be a leader and go to the wife and ask what is wrong, and give her the right to tell us why she does not trust us. I also believe that where it says “Husbands love your wives,” we have a clear command not only never to commit adultery with someone else, but to love our wives with our body, mind, soul, and spirit. Only then can we have a beautiful marriage relationship. One of the big weaknesses of many husbands is the fact that after marriage, there is a tendency for him to sort of secretly admire someone else. A wife can detect that real quickly.

Let each husband abstain from all appearance of evil, and beware of placing ourselves into tempting circumstances—for we are all human, and we can easily fall. I read recently about a couple who were happily married, but another couple with whom they could share closely, became good friends. They were together so much, and in each other’s presence so often—it soon came to the place that they were too intimate, and before they realized it, both marriages were wrecked—because the one husband started to admire the other wife more than he did his own wife. Beware of circumstances where you sense you are no longer admiring only your partner, because you will lose your trust, and your marriage could falter.

(c) Diligently try to please your partner

To improve marriage relationships, it is important to try and please your partner. God’s Word says that the wife tries to please her husband (1 Corinthians 7:34), and the Christian husband tries to please his wife (1 Corinthians 7:33). Are you really trying to please your married partner, or do you frequently say, “I’ll do what I please”? Is your attitude one which says, “if we can’t agree, we will each go our own way”? This kind of relationship does not make for a happy marriage bond.

The important question in marriage is not, “How can I have all my needs fulfilled in this marriage—but how much love can I express in meeting the needs of the one I marry?” Love says, “I will give.” Immaturity says, “Please me, and I will try to please you.” Do you ever do things just to “bug” your partner? Do you ever tease your partner when you know he doesn’t like it? There are too many marriages lived out on the “I’ll get even” basis. “If you treat me this way, I’ll get back in this way.” The husband is one hour late for supper, so his wife makes him wait an hour for supper the next night. This kind of action will not work for harmony. One husband might say, “I’m going hunting; I don’t care what you say.” The wife says she is going shopping and will spend as much money as she wants. This is not the way to please each other as partners. This is the “get even philosophy” and such a marriage is going to be much less than ideal.

Instead of living on the “get even” level, try this formula: Try sharing, bearing, working, and changing together. It should be a continuation of courtship days. Husband and wife are different in order to challenge each other, to grow together toward maturity, and not to see who is right or to determine what is right. One of the goals for married partners is to determine how we can best change together for the honor and glory of God.

3. Factors To Guard in the Marriage Relationship

Let me go a little further. It is a sin for married partners to refuse physical relationships for an extended period of time without mutual consent. The Scripture says, “The wife has not power of her own body, but the husband; and likewise the husband has no power of his own body, but the wife. Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer, and come together again that Satan tempt you not in your incontinency” (1 Corinthians 7:4-5). In other words, the wife’s body does not belong to her alone, but also to her husband. And in the same way, the husband’s body does not belong to him alone, but also to his wife.

We must exercise moderation in the area of physical relationships. It is possible that some couples use what they think is a “holier than thou” approach, and they try to get even with each other (and to get back at the partner) by withholding the sexual privilege. Some marriages are not what they ought to be because people physically are selfish. They want to try to please themselves. They reason this way: “If you don’t please me, I’ll get even.” When a husband by-passes his wife for his physical needs, and has his own private sexual releases, the wife then also turns her physical drive for affection to the love and kisses she receives from the children. It can even lead to affairs with other men. Withholding sexual privilege is not pleasing to God. It is not pleasing to your partner. Your marriage fulfillment will decrease.

Married partners also must guard against the danger of not learning to really know each other. Do you know your partner’s sorrows, joys, and concerns? Are you aware of what her life goals are? Or don’t you talk together about these kinds of things? Some time ago I was in a home where a wife and husband were members of different church denominations. I asked the husband where his wife attends church services. He mentioned where she normally attended. I asked whether she was a member of that church body. He said he is not sure if she considers herself a member or not. It is really difficult for me to imagine a husband and wife living under the same roof and talking so little about spiritual things.
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It is a sad fact, but it is true: Very few husbands and wives spend more than a few minutes each week really talking about things that matter. Many fail to have frequent heart-to-heart talks. Husbands and wives should be free to give constructive criticisms to each other, without being considered negative or harsh or critical. The husband should be the leader, but the wife as a help-meet can be a very wise counselor. God did not make each of us a whole unit. After marriage, each is only a half. It is only when both husband and wife put together their thoughts and concerns that they have a balanced outlook on life.

In conclusion, there is no “perfect” marriage. It requires a continual effort. A good marriage relationship requires a day-by-day, week-by-week attempt to keep things in harmony, but it is worth it all. Marriage can be a bit of heaven here upon earth. It is like a garden. You can have a beautiful garden, but you must keep the weeds down. So also in marriage, the devil is looking for marriages in which to sow the tares so that he can wreck the marriage. He hopes to keep it from bearing fruit. By God’s grace and help we can keep every weed dug out. The sooner we dig it out, or the sooner we go to a counselor for help, the more quickly we can have that beautiful relationship in Jesus Christ.

Because marriage here on earth is never perfect, each marriage needs two little “bears.” They are “bear” and “forbear.” We are not perfect; we all have weaknesses; we all have idiosyncracies. A mature Christian does not expect perfection in his mate. To all others, take heed to this illustration: There once was a young wife who after several months of marriage said to her husband, “You know, John, we have been married for a while and I have learned to know you better. I would like to remind you of a few of your faults.” He said, “Oh—I know all about my faults. That’s the reason I couldn’t marry a better woman.” Remember that none of us is perfect, but we can be forgiving. To err is human, but to forgive is divine. A good marriage is not one where perfection reigns.
A good marriage is a relationship where each partner has taken Jesus Christ as Lord and Saviour of their lives, and where a healthy understanding, plus the grace of God, can overlook a multitude of unresolvable difficulties.

-By Samuel M. Cassel
Used by permission of Bible Helps, P O Box 391, Hanover PA 17331.USA
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WORD-AFLAME LEADERSHIP COLLEGE CONFESSION THAT SHOOK ME

CONFESSION THAT SHOOK ME

By Gideon in All of God, Blog on March 30, 2017

A CONFESSION THAT SHOOK THE VERY CORE OF MY BEING !

It was a Sunday morning service and we were expecting to go through the routine service line ups. But we were in for a great change in our normal order of service.
Right after the opening prayer, our Pastor introduced a very old man as the guest speaker for that morning. He didn’t look familiar to any of us. There were no Praises, no Worship, no Testimonies, no Choir ministration to usher in the man of God.
This old man climbed the pulpit as it were, and all eyes were fixed on him. The place was dead silent; you could have heard the drop of the tiniest of pins. It was as if a holy awe had descended to swallow all the noise in the Church auditorium.

When he opened his mouth, he spoke these words:
“I am just returning from the burial rites of one of my son’s in the Lord”. It wasn’t what he said that made us more interested in what he had to tell us, but how he said it! It came from the depth of his soul.
“Before he died…”, the man continued, “he came to my office and made a Confession to me. He pleaded with me to share with any willing audience. I called your Pastor because the Holy Spirit spoke to me that there are many of you young people here who can pick one or two vital lessons from the death of my son in the Lord”.

The Silence became more louder! Everyone of us was arrested by the Holy Spirit to hear and heed to what the Lord had to say to us through this man. We just couldn’t take our gaze, our hearts and minds off this unusual old man.
“This was his confession”, he broke the Silence finally.

*(In the dead pastor’s words)…….*

“It was one Sunday afternoon after church service, and I heard a knock on my door. I was relaxing in the office because we had just closed a very beautiful and powerful service. The Power of God had fallen like rain upon the Church– miracles, Healings, Prophetic ministrations and deliverance, Holy Spirit Baptism and any kind of move of the Holy Spirit you could identify with. I should have headed straight to the house to rest because that’s the signal I had in my spirit. Instead, I came to the office to recline in my chair.

I asked the person to come in, and behold, there was this unusually beautiful and well-rounded fair lady before my face. I asked her to take the seat across my desk.

She introduced herself as a new convert- she had just received Jesus Christ as her personal Savior and Lord. She started heaping accolades upon my head, claiming how powerful and anointed I was, and how tremendously her life has been impacted by the morning’s message and ministrations.

I was obviously happy that God had brought and won a new soul to Church.
She then told me how very great a miracle it was that God brought her to Church that faithful Sunday because she had just received an amount of money equivalent to 50 million Ghana Cedis, and she wanted to pay her tithe. She needed guidelines regarding how to invest the money. Her purpose for coming was first of all to introduce herself as a new active member of the Church of God, and also to seek my advice regarding how to invest the money, and of course pay her tithe. She was hoping that I could recommend some faithful and honest business men in the Church she could partner with.

This news was warmly received; my excitement knew no bounds. All of a sudden, unfinished and new projects of the Church started coming to mind- how we can use the tithe which was like 5 million Ghana Cedis to complete and start new projects. I was now merrier than before.

Out of excitement, I told her to write her address down because I wanted to visit her personally so we could discuss this goodnews in greater details.
She wrote down the address, and excused herself to leave. I didn’t notice how seductive she was dressed until she stood to leave. All my adrenaline started running through my head to the tip of my trousers. I rebuked it but it made no difference. It seemed to me she noticed the effects her stature has had on me. I thought I even saw a smile on her face, but it didn’t make no difference to me because I had her tithe on my mind.

I became restless after she had left. I wanted to run after her, to embrace her from behind, and to also take my tithe of course. But my body was too tired to obey such sentiments. I headed straight home, and had an unusually long rest. When I woke up it was morning already. Since Mondays were my days of rest, I decided to give her a call first thing after I had taken my bath and breakfast. I followed through my plans of course. It seemed I was possessed; I couldn’t get her and her money out of my system. I felt the spirit of Grace speaking to my heart to be careful but I rebuked that Voice, reasoning that as a Shepherd I must take care of the Lord’s Flock, especially the new ones. She was obviously new, and I had to concentrate on building her to become a spiritual giant. She could even become a singer in the Choir. All these I reasoned within to shut out and to shut down the Voice of the Spirit of Grace.
Before I realized I was with my phone dialing her digits. She was obviously expecting me by the sound of her voice on the other line. This was indeed a Divine confirmation that God wanted me to call her- so I reasoned within my heart to cloud the uneasiness I felt in my heart regarding this strange lady.
Even the story of the strange woman in the book of Proverbs came to mind but I quickly brushed it aside with a different Scripture, saying that all of us are sinners, making all of us strange men and women before God. If God accepted us as we were, I had to obviously accept her as the Lord had done to me. All these steps of thoughts gave me a false peace in my heart.

I put on my best dress and headed her address. I didn’t inform any of the deacons and the elders of this great door the Lord was opening. I wanted to surprise them, testifying about the wonders of God. I had a prompting to call one of the women fellowship leaders to go with me but I quickly threw such suggestion outside the window. I needed to assure this new Sister that I personally cared for her life.
I got to her place in no time. The sight which greeted me should have sent common sense in my mind to run for my life but I couldn’t because I had my mind made up to have her become a committed member of the Church and the money of course.

She was in a see-through blue attire, wearing this seductive smile on her face. My heart was by now beating faster than a 100m racer. I still had to chance to leave because I had not entered the room yet. But I found myself smiling broadly as I entered her room.
She excused herself in order to bring me something soft to drink. It was when she was leaving my presence that I noticed that she had no underwear on. That alone should have sent me packing but I didn’t because I had convinced myself that I needed to establish her as a member and of course, take my tithe of 5 million Ghana Cedis!

As she was away, series of Scriptures started coming to my heart, as though a man were standing before me, reading these verses aloud. Scriptures of fleeing Temptations, Samson and Delilah, Tamar and Judah, Joseph and Portiphar’s wife, Israel and the Moabite Women, came very alive to my heart. I didn’t head to any of these warnings. That moment was supernaturally elongated because I felt the Recollection of the Scriptures had taken more than one hour. It all happened with 5 minutes.
Afterwards, she came wearing that same seductive smile, and swinging her waist rhythmically to a song only she could hear.
We exchanged the normal pleasantries. We even prayed; I spoke in tongues for some 10 minutes. She was saying resounding Amens to all the declarations and blessings.

When I was through, she came to sit very close to me. I could see her breasts, and that adrenaline that rushed through my head to the tips of my trousers came all over, this time with such intensity that I thought I was under an electric shock. She pressed her chest against my arm, and before long we were kissing. There was no going back- eventually I slept with her or rather she slept with me.

When we were through, she smiled a smile of Victory that shook me to the very core of my being. It’s influence was more powerful than the pleasures I had experienced within those few moments back. I sheepishly smiled back at her. I couldn’t recall what happened between that moment and the time I got home. My thoughts were clouded. I didn’t have that fiery feeling I always had in my belly again- something tangible and indispensable had left me. I didn’t know to weep or laugh. My thoughts were scattered. The pain I experienced within those dark moments were such deep and horrific that no level of pleasure could have offset such anguish and hopelessness. The day ended.
I went to the office on Tuesday morning, and I received a video on my whatsapp. I downloaded it, and to the deepest shock of my life, I saw myself busily and hungrily having sex with a woman whose face had been edited from the video. My face was clear as crystal.
Within very few minutes there was a knock on my door and without beckoning the person to come in, the knob turned and there stood before me lady of my nightmares.

She was no longer the composed, affectionate, smiling lady I saw just a couple of days before. The lady that stood before me was fierce and had wickedness written all over her face. My heart nearly jumped out of my chest.
She made herself comfortable in the chair opposite mine, and without being asked what her mission was, she spat these words *’You fool, I will show you pepper’.* She made good actions of her words. She demanded a cheque of 10 million Ghana Cedis from the tithes of the Church or else she would release the video on all social media platforms. She gave me two days to produce such money or else my end was as certain as the break of dawn. She stood to take her leave.

I think I saw her face turned to be something demonic. She began laughing hysterically. When she was through, she looked straight into my eyes and said blatantly, *’Pastor Timothy, I AM TAKING YOU DOWN’.* And she walked out of the office.”

*(The Young man’s voice is now over…the old Preacher continued).*

“He came to see me a few days after. He couldn’t cry, he couldn’t pray, he couldn’t say any proper words of confession. I tried praying with him but the Heavens over us were shut. Only a passage of Scripture stood in the Atmosphere:
*Hebrews 10:26-31 (NKJV)*
26 For if we sin willfully after we have received the knowledge of the truth, there no longer remains a sacrifice for sins,
27 but a certain fearful expectation of judgment, and fiery indignation which will devour the adversaries.
28 Anyone who has rejected Moses’ law dies without mercy on the testimony of two or three witnesses.
29 Of how much worse punishment, do you suppose, will he be thought worthy who has trampled the Son of God underfoot, counted the blood of the covenant by which he was sanctified a common thing, and insulted the Spirit of grace?
30 For we know Him who said, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,” says the Lord. And again, “The Lord will judge His people.”
31 It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God.”….

By now, everyone was sobbing. We were all lamenting over the story we just heard from this old Preacher. The young pastor committed suicide. He was anointed. He was powerful.
The old man continued…
“I came here because there are many of you who are still living in sin, seeking no help from its deliverance.
The Enemy saw a weakness or two in him; lust for money and beautiful, well-rounded women. The Devil was more than glad to offer these because he knew he could eventually get hold of him

The Spirit of Revelation whispered to my heart: _the pastor didn’t deal with the little Foxes in his life when he was under training._ He occasionally satisfied his lust by framing stories to get money; and watching pornographic materials
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The Spirit of Grace was on him, Teaching, Guiding, Rebuking, Correcting him…. yet he didn’t listen. If he listened, he didn’t apply Jesus’ formula of dealing with weights and besetting sins: *If your right hand offends you, CUT IT OFF for it is far better to enter into life Maimed than to perish with your whole body intact*.
*He played around sin.*
*He cajoled sin.*
*He treated sin lightly.*
*He entertained that which had the capacity to destroy him, both in time and in eternity.*
The first thing Sin takes care of in a person’s life is the Glory of God. You lose your spiritual beauty and splendor once you live in sin.
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Listen to me, my dear young people:
_You cannot use smartness of analysis and scriptural inductions to confuse God._ Forever His Word is firmly established. *Seriously consider the following Scriptures:*
*Galatians 5:19-21; 1 John 3:8;* *Hebrews 4:6-7; 2 Peter 1:5-10″.*

He then prayed with all of us, making an Altar Call for who had wanted to receive Jesus Christ into their hearts, and those of us who needed to rededicate their lives to the Lord Jesus Christ.
We didn’t take an offering that Sunday…
Friends didn’t walk in groups…
Everyone was engrossed in his or her thoughts, perhaps pondering on the sad story of the promising young man of God and also our own very conditions before the Lord.
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*_Every little thing you are doing in secret has the potential to bring unto you a public ridicule or applause the future._*
*Grace is not a license to nonsense.*
*Sin is a mocker- it’s wages is still DEATH.*
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WORD-AFLAME LEADERSHIP COLLEGE IT'S NOT YOU

IT’S NOT YOU

By Gideon in Blog, Ministry on February 3, 2017

One day a local evangelist bragged during a crusade that his God was more able than all the other gods in the town and the powers of the universe that the villagers worshiped put together. Just then, rainstorm sounds started sounding overhead, threatening the progress of the crusade. The evangelist lifted up his voice and declared with confidence that if the rains fell, then he wasn’t a man of God; he would stop preaching!
Before he could finish his bluff, the rains began to hit the crusade grounds so vehemently, apparently in disregard to his declarations. The whole town left the crusade grounds to their houses, shaking their heads in disappointment and dismay.
The evangelist, so distraught and angry, packed his belongings and left the town the next day. On his way through the next town, he checked into a local drinking spot and drank himself to stupor. As he laid on the ground cursing God, an old seedy looking man tapped him gently on the shoulder.
“Man of God”, the old man began. But the evangelist quickly cut in, “don’t mention the name of God to me. He is fake. He is unreliable. I am no longer a believer in this God. A God who chooses to disgrace his servants. Leave me alone!”
But the old man would not let him be. He continued,”I am the fetish priest in the village you just preached at, during your one week stay in that village, you destroyed all the charms i had made on the people for 45 years. Your prayers and your words always came with some fearful fire and power. I tried so many times to eliminate you but i couldn’t. My last chance came yesterday. I had loaded my gun with gun powder lying wait on the mountaintop where i had a very clear view of you. My plan was to shoot you from a distance since i couldn’t get close enough to you due to the fire around you. But just when i lifted the gun, the rains came from nowhere, wetting my gunpowder and covering you in a cloud so that i couldn’t even see you. All i saw was a bright man holding a sword in front of you. I was so terrified. I concluded that your God was indeed all powerful and Almighty. That is why I’ve been looking for you since then. I want to follow this your God!”
The ex-evangelist bowed his head in shame!
Dear friends, sometimes, it is just wise for us to believe that our Father knows the way He is taking us. We should just trust His leading. Let our boast be in the Lord, not in ourselves. If we decree a thing and it doesn’t happen, let us not see it as disappointment or dishonor from the Father. Let us just believe that the Father wants his perfect will to be done in all things.
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WORD-AFLAME LEADERSHIP COLLEGE 25 PRINCIPLES TO GROW YOUR MARRIAGE!

25 PRINCIPLES TO GROW YOUR MARRIAGE!

By Gideon in Blog, MARRIAGE on October 14, 2016

1. Choose to love each other even in those moments when you struggle to like each other. Love is a commitment, not a feeling.

2. Always answer the phone when your husband/wife is calling, and when possible, try to keep your phone off when you’re together with your spouse.

3. Make time together a priority. Budget for a consistent date night. Time is the “currency of relationships,” so consistently invest time into your marriage.

4. Surround yourself with friends who will strengthen your marriage, and remove yourself from people who may tempt you to compromise your character.

5. Make laughter the soundtrack of your marriage. Share moments of joy, and even in the hard times, find reasons to laugh.

6. In every argument, remember that there won’t be a “winner” and a “loser.” You are partners in everything so you’ll either win together or lose together. Work together to find a solution.

7. Remember that a strong marriage rarely has two strong people at the same time. It’s usually a husband and wife taking turns being strong for each other in the moments when the other feels weak.

8. Prioritize what happens in the bedroom. It takes more than sex to build a strong marriage, but it’s nearly impossible to build a strong marriage without it!

WORD-AFLAME LEADERSHIP COLLEGE 25 PRINCIPLES TO GROW YOUR MARRIAGE!
9. Remember that marriage isn’t 50-50, divorce is 50-50. Marriage has to be 100-100. It’s not splitting everything in half, but both partners giving everything they’ve got!

10. Give your best to each other, not your leftovers after you’ve given your best to everyone else.

11. Learn from other people, but don’t feel the need to compare your life or your marriage to anyone else’s. God’s plan for your life is masterfully unique!

12. Don’t put your marriage on hold while you’re raising your kids or else you’ll end up with an empty nest and an empty marriage.

13. Never keep secrets from each other. Secrecy is the enemy of intimacy.

14. Never lie to each other. Lies break trust, and trust is the foundation of a strong marriage.

>>>>>Also Read This: Improving The Marriage Relationship<<<<<
15. When you’ve made a mistake, admit it and humbly seek forgiveness. You should be quick to say, “I was wrong. I’m sorry. Please forgive me.”

16. When your husband/wife breaks your trust, give them your forgiveness instantly, which will promote healing and create the opportunity for trust to be rebuilt. You should be quick to say, “I love you. I forgive you. Let’s move forward.”

17. Be patient with each other. Your spouse is always more important than your schedule.

18. Model the kind of marriage that will make your sons want to grow up to be good husbands and your daughters want to grow up to be good wives.

19. Be your spouse’s biggest encourager, not his/her biggest critic. Be the one who wipes away their tears, not the one who causes them.

20. Never talk badly about your spouse to other people or vent about them online. Protect your spouse at all times and in all places.

WORD-AFLAME LEADERSHIP COLLEGE 25 PRINCIPLES TO GROW YOUR MARRIAGE!
21. Always wear your wedding ring. It will remind you that you’re always connected to your spouse and it will remind the rest of the world that you’re off limits!

22. Connect into a community of faith. A good church can make a world of difference in your marriage and family.

>>>>>Also Read This:
5 Secrets Of Great Relationship<<<<<

23. Pray together. Every marriage is stronger with God in the middle of it.

24. When you have to choose between saying nothing or saying something mean to your spouse, say nothing every time!

25. Never consider divorce as an option. Remember that a “perfect marriage” is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other!- churchleader

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