CONFESSION THAT SHOOK ME
A CONFESSION THAT SHOOK THE VERY CORE OF MY BEING !
It was a Sunday morning service and we were expecting to go through the routine service line ups. But we were in for a great change in our normal order of service.
Right after the opening prayer, our Pastor introduced a very old man as the guest speaker for that morning. He didn’t look familiar to any of us. There were no Praises, no Worship, no Testimonies, no Choir ministration to usher in the man of God.
This old man climbed the pulpit as it were, and all eyes were fixed on him. The place was dead silent; you could have heard the drop of the tiniest of pins. It was as if a holy awe had descended to swallow all the noise in the Church auditorium.
When he opened his mouth, he spoke these words:
“I am just returning from the burial rites of one of my son’s in the Lord”. It wasn’t what he said that made us more interested in what he had to tell us, but how he said it! It came from the depth of his soul.
“Before he died…”, the man continued, “he came to my office and made a Confession to me. He pleaded with me to share with any willing audience. I called your Pastor because the Holy Spirit spoke to me that there are many of you young people here who can pick one or two vital lessons from the death of my son in the Lord”.
The Silence became more louder! Everyone of us was arrested by the Holy Spirit to hear and heed to what the Lord had to say to us through this man. We just couldn’t take our gaze, our hearts and minds off this unusual old man.
“This was his confession”, he broke the Silence finally.
*(In the dead pastor’s words)…….*
“It was one Sunday afternoon after church service, and I heard a knock on my door. I was relaxing in the office because we had just closed a very beautiful and powerful service. The Power of God had fallen like rain upon the Church– miracles, Healings, Prophetic ministrations and deliverance, Holy Spirit Baptism and any kind of move of the Holy Spirit you could identify with. I should have headed straight to the house to rest because that’s the signal I had in my spirit. Instead, I came to the office to recline in my chair.
I asked the person to come in, and behold, there was this unusually beautiful and well-rounded fair lady before my face. I asked her to take the seat across my desk.
She introduced herself as a new convert- she had just received Jesus Christ as her personal Savior and Lord. She started heaping accolades upon my head, claiming how powerful and anointed I was, and how tremendously her life has been impacted by the morning’s message and ministrations.
I was obviously happy that God had brought and won a new soul to Church.
She then told me how very great a miracle it was that God brought her to Church that faithful Sunday because she had just received an amount of money equivalent to 50 million Ghana Cedis, and she wanted to pay her tithe. She needed guidelines regarding how to invest the money. Her purpose for coming was first of all to introduce herself as a new active member of the Church of God, and also to seek my advice regarding how to invest the money, and of course pay her tithe. She was hoping that I could recommend some faithful and honest business men in the Church she could partner with.
This news was warmly received; my excitement knew no bounds. All of a sudden, unfinished and new projects of the Church started coming to mind- how we can use the tithe which was like 5 million Ghana Cedis to complete and start new projects. I was now merrier than before.
Out of excitement, I told her to write her address down because I wanted to visit her personally so we could discuss this goodnews in greater details.
She wrote down the address, and excused herself to leave. I didn’t notice how seductive she was dressed until she stood to leave. All my adrenaline started running through my head to the tip of my trousers. I rebuked it but it made no difference. It seemed to me she noticed the effects her stature has had on me. I thought I even saw a smile on her face, but it didn’t make no difference to me because I had her tithe on my mind.
I became restless after she had left. I wanted to run after her, to embrace her from behind, and to also take my tithe of course. But my body was too tired to obey such sentiments. I headed straight home, and had an unusually long rest. When I woke up it was morning already. Since Mondays were my days of rest, I decided to give her a call first thing after I had taken my bath and breakfast. I followed through my plans of course. It seemed I was possessed; I couldn’t get her and her money out of my system. I felt the spirit of Grace speaking to my heart to be careful but I rebuked that Voice, reasoning that as a Shepherd I must take care of the Lord’s Flock, especially the new ones. She was obviously new, and I had to concentrate on building her to become a spiritual giant. She could even become a singer in the Choir. All these I reasoned within to shut out and to shut down the Voice of the Spirit of Grace.
Before I realized I was with my phone dialing her digits. She was obviously expecting me by the sound of her voice on the other line. This was indeed a Divine confirmation that God wanted me to call her- so I reasoned within my heart to cloud the uneasiness I felt in my heart regarding this strange lady.
Even the story of the strange woman in the book of Proverbs came to mind but I quickly brushed it aside with a different Scripture, saying that all of us are sinners, making all of us strange men and women before God. If God accepted us as we were, I had to obviously accept her as the Lord had done to me. All these steps of thoughts gave me a false peace in my heart.
I put on my best dress and headed her address. I didn’t inform any of the deacons and the elders of this great door the Lord was opening. I wanted to surprise them, testifying about the wonders of God. I had a prompting to call one of the women fellowship leaders to go with me but I quickly threw such suggestion outside the window. I needed to assure this new Sister that I personally cared for her life.
I got to her place in no time. The sight which greeted me should have sent common sense in my mind to run for my life but I couldn’t because I had my mind made up to have her become a committed member of the Church and the money of course.
She was in a see-through blue attire, wearing this seductive smile on her face. My heart was by now beating faster than a 100m racer. I still had to chance to leave because I had not entered the room yet. But I found myself smiling broadly as I entered her room.
She excused herself in order to bring me something soft to drink. It was when she was leaving my presence that I noticed that she had no underwear on. That alone should have sent me packing but I didn’t because I had convinced myself that I needed to establish her as a member and of course, take my tithe of 5 million Ghana Cedis!
As she was away, series of Scriptures started coming to my heart, as though a man were standing before me, reading these verses aloud. Scriptures of fleeing Temptations, Samson and Delilah, Tamar and Judah, Joseph and Portiphar’s wife, Israel and the Moabite Women, came very alive to my heart. I didn’t head to any of these warnings. That moment was supernaturally elongated because I felt the Recollection of the Scriptures had taken more than one hour. It all happened with 5 minutes.
Afterwards, she came wearing that same seductive smile, and swinging her waist rhythmically to a song only she could hear.
We exchanged the normal pleasantries. We even prayed; I spoke in tongues for some 10 minutes. She was saying resounding Amens to all the declarations and blessings.
When I was through, she came to sit very close to me. I could see her breasts, and that adrenaline that rushed through my head to the tips of my trousers came all over, this time with such intensity that I thought I was under an electric shock. She pressed her chest against my arm, and before long we were kissing. There was no going back- eventually I slept with her or rather she slept with me.
When we were through, she smiled a smile of Victory that shook me to the very core of my being. It’s influence was more powerful than the pleasures I had experienced within those few moments back. I sheepishly smiled back at her. I couldn’t recall what happened between that moment and the time I got home. My thoughts were clouded. I didn’t have that fiery feeling I always had in my belly again- something tangible and indispensable had left me. I didn’t know to weep or laugh. My thoughts were scattered. The pain I experienced within those dark moments were such deep and horrific that no level of pleasure could have offset such anguish and hopelessness. The day ended.
I went to the office on Tuesday morning, and I received a video on my whatsapp. I downloaded it, and to the deepest shock of my life, I saw myself busily and hungrily having sex with a woman whose face had been edited from the video. My face was clear as crystal.
Within very few minutes there was a knock on my door and without beckoning the person to come in, the knob turned and there stood before me lady of my nightmares.
She was no longer the composed, affectionate, smiling lady I saw just a couple of days before. The lady that stood before me was fierce and had wickedness written all over her face. My heart nearly jumped out of my chest.
She made herself comfortable in the chair opposite mine, and without being asked what her mission was, she spat these words *’You fool, I will show you pepper’.* She made good actions of her words. She demanded a cheque of 10 million Ghana Cedis from the tithes of the Church or else she would release the video on all social media platforms. She gave me two days to produce such money or else my end was as certain as the break of dawn. She stood to take her leave.
I think I saw her face turned to be something demonic. She began laughing hysterically. When she was through, she looked straight into my eyes and said blatantly, *’Pastor Timothy, I AM TAKING YOU DOWN’.* And she walked out of the office.”
*(The Young man’s voice is now over…the old Preacher continued).*
“He came to see me a few days after. He couldn’t cry, he couldn’t pray, he couldn’t say any proper words of confession. I tried praying with him but the Heavens over us were shut. Only a passage of Scripture stood in the Atmosphere:
*Hebrews 10:26-31 (NKJV)*
26 For if we sin willfully after we have received the knowledge of the truth, there no longer remains a sacrifice for sins,
27 but a certain fearful expectation of judgment, and fiery indignation which will devour the adversaries.
28 Anyone who has rejected Moses’ law dies without mercy on the testimony of two or three witnesses.
29 Of how much worse punishment, do you suppose, will he be thought worthy who has trampled the Son of God underfoot, counted the blood of the covenant by which he was sanctified a common thing, and insulted the Spirit of grace?
30 For we know Him who said, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,” says the Lord. And again, “The Lord will judge His people.”
31 It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God.”….
By now, everyone was sobbing. We were all lamenting over the story we just heard from this old Preacher. The young pastor committed suicide. He was anointed. He was powerful.
The old man continued…
“I came here because there are many of you who are still living in sin, seeking no help from its deliverance.
The Enemy saw a weakness or two in him; lust for money and beautiful, well-rounded women. The Devil was more than glad to offer these because he knew he could eventually get hold of him
The Spirit of Revelation whispered to my heart: _the pastor didn’t deal with the little Foxes in his life when he was under training._ He occasionally satisfied his lust by framing stories to get money; and watching pornographic materials
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The Spirit of Grace was on him, Teaching, Guiding, Rebuking, Correcting him…. yet he didn’t listen. If he listened, he didn’t apply Jesus’ formula of dealing with weights and besetting sins: *If your right hand offends you, CUT IT OFF for it is far better to enter into life Maimed than to perish with your whole body intact*.
*He played around sin.*
*He cajoled sin.*
*He treated sin lightly.*
*He entertained that which had the capacity to destroy him, both in time and in eternity.*
The first thing Sin takes care of in a person’s life is the Glory of God. You lose your spiritual beauty and splendor once you live in sin.
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Listen to me, my dear young people:
_You cannot use smartness of analysis and scriptural inductions to confuse God._ Forever His Word is firmly established. *Seriously consider the following Scriptures:*
*Galatians 5:19-21; 1 John 3:8;* *Hebrews 4:6-7; 2 Peter 1:5-10″.*
He then prayed with all of us, making an Altar Call for who had wanted to receive Jesus Christ into their hearts, and those of us who needed to rededicate their lives to the Lord Jesus Christ.
We didn’t take an offering that Sunday…
Friends didn’t walk in groups…
Everyone was engrossed in his or her thoughts, perhaps pondering on the sad story of the promising young man of God and also our own very conditions before the Lord.
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*_Every little thing you are doing in secret has the potential to bring unto you a public ridicule or applause the future._*
*Grace is not a license to nonsense.*
*Sin is a mocker- it’s wages is still DEATH.*
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