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WORD-AFLAME LEADERSHIP COLLEGE 19 Ways To Fix Your Wife

19 Ways To Fix Your Wife

By Gideon in Blog, MARRIAGE on October 29, 2019

19 ways to fix your wife – when she is falling apart!

Your wife can be dying in silence while still performing her wifely duties.

You will need to know her to know when she needs to be fixed.

When a woman is always moody, cries a lot, yells on Children, can easily sleep or sleeps a lot, she may be battling with something you are not careful enough to see.

A real man will not allow his wife to fall apart without fixing her and making her better and happy.
If you discover your wife is falling apart, watch out and fix the following:

1. CHECK IF YOU ARE THE PROBLEM
You might be her problem, but out of her respect and love for you, she may not tell you. Ask, let her talk sincerely

2. BE AWARE OF HER RESPONSIBILITIES
Get to know how her work load is killing her. Regardless of whether she stays at home or goes to work, do you know what she does all day? If you don’t, ask her. Her to-do list is probably overflowing with tasks that far outweighs her time and energy.
WORD-AFLAME LEADERSHIP COLLEGE 19 Ways To Fix Your Wife
3. BE APPRECIATIVE
Be mindful of her needs and appreciative of her sacrifices. The work a woman does at home can be too common that nobody will appreciate her for them, this can be killing her. Appreciate your wife

4. GET INVOLVED BEFORE SHE BURNS OUT
Don’t just be appreciative, but get involved. The best time to begin helping your wife is now. Don’t wait until she breaks down to offer a helping hand.

5. GET MACHINE
Get all the machine needed for her work at home (the ones you can afford). Dish washer, gas cooker, refrigerator, oven, laundering Machine etc

6. BE AN ACTIVE PARTICIPANT
Be totally involved at home, stop delegating parenting and family life. Don’t be a “visiting Professor”, be an active partner in this business of your life. It takes two to parent. It takes two to make a marriage work. It takes two to run a household. Be fully involved in every aspect of your family life.

7. HOLD HER
Hold her like a lover and a friend. Place your hands on her shoulder, her laps, hold her hands, just hold her and let her feel you.

WORD-AFLAME LEADERSHIP COLLEGE 19 Ways To Fix Your Wife

8. JUST LISTEN
Men are known to be good talker but very bad listeners. At times what your wife needs is for you to just listen. Do not interrupt, let her unburden, let her talk. Sometimes the best way for a woman to reset is by getting all of her thoughts out. Let your wife talk through her feelings and problems. Show empathy. Listen carefully. Ask questions. Be fully engaged in the conversation.

9. BE A PARTNER NOT A TEACHER
Most men do fall into the “Teaching trap” when they are supposed to be a partner, showing love and consideration. Do not blame, just be there for her. Just listen. That’s all you need to do. And if she wants you to offer solutions, she’ll ask for them

10. GIVE HER HOPE
No matter what happens, don’t ever raise up your hands in surrender. Giving up, crying or weeping will hurt your wife more. Encourage her. Let her know what you love about her. Help her see the good in any situation. Avoid being critical or negative. When she has hit the rock bottom, be the man who lifts her up, and brings light and hope back into her life.

11. BE SENSITIVE
Get to know her mood, get to know her needs, get to know what is needed to be done at home and do them without prompting
Learn the art of looking around the house and finding things that need to get done. Are there dishes in the sink? What is broken that needs to be fixed? Don’t wait to be asked. Just do it!

12. PRAY FOR HER
Take your time off to pray for her, hand her over to her maker who knows the deepest need of her heart . Let God fix her, you can’t do it
Let God know what you appreciate about her. Ask for his help. Ask him to tell you how you can be a better spouse to her. Ask him to comfort her and help her see herself as He see her.

WORD-AFLAME LEADERSHIP COLLEGE 19 Ways To Fix Your Wife

13. PRAY WITH HER
Don’t just pray for your wife, find time to pray with her, hug her as you pray together, hold her hands, just talk to your maker together.

14. ASK HER HOW YOU CAN BE OF HELP
Your wife knows what you can do to help her reset, so just ask her. She will open up to you, it may not be what you think, so don’t speculate, ask, She’ll appreciate it more than you will ever know.

15. HELP AROUND THE HOUSE
Give a helping hand around the house. Give her a kitchen holiday for some days, do all the cooking or hire somebody to do it for you. Let her just sit, eat and rest, this may be all she needs.
WORD-AFLAME LEADERSHIP COLLEGE 19 Ways To Fix Your Wife
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16. TAKE HER OUT
Take her out, eat out, go to the cinema, go to wherever she will love to go, not where you want, just follow her.

17. ALLOW HER TO CRY,IF SHE MUST
“Stop crying, are you a baby?, will you be crying about this little thing?”
This is what most nude earning husband will do when their wives cry, what an insensitive word. If she feels like crying, hold her to yourself and let her do the crying while you pat her on the back. It’s a great way to fix the problem.

18. LET HER GO ON HOLIDAY
Allow her to go on holiday all alone to herself, this can fix the problem as she returns with greater energy.

19. CELEBRATE HER
Let your wife be celebrated. Celebrate her in secret and in public. Talk about her beauty, motherhood, wifehood, support, thoughtfulness. This will make her day.

Let the men read and apply….

Let the women read and pass to the men……especially

WORD-AFLAME LEADERSHIP COLLEGE 7 Don't in Marriage!

7 Don’t in Marriage!

By Gideon in Blog, MARRIAGE on September 16, 2019

This article “7 don’t in marriage” is part of my practical experience in marriage of which I know that the young couples and older ones will need to carefully work on them, for rich and smooth relationship with little or no hitches that is capable of jeopardizing this beautiful institute of God.
Although your marriage is unique, but almost the same experience of them all especially if it is built on Christ the solid rock. Hence, this tips could be a manual for great and lasting marriage.

1. Don’t IGNORE your spouse.

Be serious, be careful at every complain from your spouse, be it personal or general. If you ignore often, this may result to act of insensitivity which may be dangerous at times, it may even cost life, while some may be irreversible and then you will continue to live with the scares permanently forever. There is need for you to deal with negligence and lackadaisical approach to issues and situations. Learn to always respond swiftly to every complain, a stitch in time saves nine.

2. Don’t DENIAL your spouse’s right to you.

Your heart, your thinking and your entire life exclusively belongs to your spouse- deny your spouse of this great right is a sign of silent and gradual divorce, the relationship will gradually be loosing his savor- heart broken will eventually set in, and you know the result is the opposite of the plan of God for marriage.

3. Don’t DISRESPECT your spouse-openly.

Honor begot honor and respect is a reciprocal, avoid relegating your spouse in any form it could amount to disgrace and the fabric of love will be tearing and wearing gradually.
WORD-AFLAME LEADERSHIP COLLEGE 7 Don't in Marriage!
4. Don’t SUBDUE your spouse.

The fact remains that you are one flesh, but of two different destiny and one is bound to be greater in life than the other and your glory either are not equal from God and so He did not made a mistake for allowing you together. Accept the grace of God on individual, have the heart that, the success of your spouse is your glory and always appreciate God for this gift. The best you can do in life for your spouse is to help fulfill his/ her God’s giving vision.

5. Don’t DISCONNECT your spouse for any reason.

Should in case of doubt at any point in time in your marriage, always learn to hear your spouse out. Keep the knot strong and stronger, marriage is the only beautiful relationship you can ever have. Therefore, If you handle it properly it can prolong life with absolute tranquility.
Also Read This: Improving The Marriage Relationship
6. Don’t often PREEMPT your spouse.

Yes, you have known and trust your spouse very well, but sometimes you may need explanation for a particular action. But if you are so quick to presume in a matter, you may end up in becoming too haste and judgmental in your approach to an issue you ought to patiently ask for reason for better understanding. You can avoid hurting your spouse carelessly with gentile and loving approach at all time.

7. Don’t COMPETE with your spouse.

You are to compliment each other and not to compete, avoid generating unnecessary rancor. You are not likely to have the same needs met at the same time, yours may come later. Everything in your marriage is also yours including that of your spouse, therefore learn to always be comfortable with godly maturity to enjoy your marriage together. God bless your marriage/relationship. By Dr. G O Oyedepo
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WORD-AFLAME LEADERSHIP COLLEGE 10 FACTS ABOUT MARRIAGE

10 FACTS ABOUT MARRIAGE

By Gideon in Blog on August 29, 2019

Marriage is forever beautiful and in the quest to have an healthy and lasting marriage, you must avoid comparing your spouse with others, yours is unique, perfect and exclusively created for you, ordained to fulfill your destiny! You will appreciate God in your life only when you accept to appreciate your spouse!

Here are 10 points to help you handle your marriage relationship better! 

  1. Everyone you marry has a weakness. Only God does not have a weakness. So if you focus on your spouse’s weakness you can’t get the best out of his strength.
  2. Everyone has a dark history. No one is an angel. When you get married or you want to get married stop digging into someone’s past. What matters most is the present life of your partner. Old things have passed away. Forgive and forget. Focus on the present and the future.
  3. Every marriage has its own challenges. Marriage is not a bed of roses. Every good marriage has gone through its own test of blazing fire. True love proves in times of challenges. Fight for your marriage. Make up your mind to stay with your spouse in times of need. Remember the vow For better for worse. In sickness and in health be there.
  4. Every marriage has different levels of success. Don’t compare your marriage with any one else. We can never be equal. Some will be far, some behind. To avoid marriage stresses, be patient, work hard and with time your marriage dreams shall come true.
  5. To get married is declaring war. When you get married you must declare war against enemies of marriage. Some enemies of marriage are: Ignorance Prayerlessness Unforgiveness Third party influence Stinginess Stubbornness Lack of love Rudeness Laziness Disrespect Cheating Be ready to fight to maintain your marriage zone.
  6. There is no perfect marriage. There is no ready made marriage. Marriage is hard work. Volunteer yourself to work daily on it. Marriage is like a car that needs proper maintenance and proper service. If this is not done it will break down somewhere exposing the owner to danger or some unhealthy circumstances. Let us not be careless about our marriages.
  7. God cannot give you a complete person you desire. He gives you the person in the form of raw materials in order for you to mould the person that you desire. This can only be achieved through prayer, love and Patience.
  8. Getting married is taking a huge risk. You can not predict what will happen in the future. Situations may change so leave room for adjustments. Husband can lose his good job or you may fail to have babies. All these require you to be prayerful otherwise you might divorce.
  9. Marriage is not a contract. It is permanent. It needs total commitment. Love is the glue that sticks the couple together. Divorce start in the mind and the devil feeds the mind. Never ever entertain thoughts of getting a divorce. Never threaten your spouse with divorce. Choose to remain married. God hates divorce.
  10. Every marriage has a price to pay. Marriage is like a bank account. It is the money that you deposit that you withdraw. If you don’t deposit love, peace and care into your marriage, you are not a candidate for a blissful home.

So today let us pray for our marriages and ask God to help us where we are lacking in the marriage. May God bless you. I love you all. 

WORD-AFLAME LEADERSHIP COLLEGE Adjusting To Married Life

Adjusting To Married Life

By Gideon in Blog, MARRIAGE on August 1, 2019

Adjusting to married life could be an overwhelming time for a lot of newly married couples.
But you and your spouse can use this period to build a strong foundation for your marriage. A strong foundation will help you adjust to married life, and transition into life as a married couple.

Below are the 14 tips for adjusting to married life.

1. Money

What’s mine is yours, and what’s yours is mine after we tie the knot right?

Well, that’s how it should be anyways, especially with money!

Have the same checking and savings accounts, learn to agree on finances, start and work on a simple family budget.

Big adjustment there.

For us, ongoing frequent communication was key.

You each have a say in your money. It’s both of your money even if there’s only one income. This is a significant point about adjusting to finances in that first year of marriage.

2. Communication

He speaks male, and she speaks female. We know this, we hear about it all the time, right?

Being married and experiencing this is entirely different.

So many of our arguments that first year of marriage was due to us misunderstanding each other.
Even if you use the same word, the definition of that word may be different to your spouse.
WORD-AFLAME LEADERSHIP COLLEGE Adjusting To Married Life
3. Selfishness to selflessness

I never realized how selfish I was until I got married.

You have to go from thinking about yourself, what you want to eat for dinner and how you want to live your life, to what do we want for dinner and how do we want to live our life. – Ashley

Putting each others needs before ourselves while keeping the balance so you are not a rug to be stepped on, or taken advantage of. This is a big part of not only surviving the first year of marriage but also having a happy and healthy marriage.

If you both put each other first, it will be a win- win. Learn how to become selfless.

4. Unity

Always remember, your spouse has your best interest. If not, why did they marry you?

In addition, if changing your name after marriage is but of your plans, do it right away.

5. Learning how to “fight fair”

I don’t even like that word because we never fight, we argue or disagree respectfully as mature adults should.

Fighting makes me think of screaming and yelling, name calling, hits below the belt, and things being thrown, or physical harm.

In our first year of marriage, we had a lot of adjusting to do in learning how to disagree in a healthy way because we both came from different families who had different ways of doing things.

6. Honesty
Be honest about your marriage expectations, discuss, and compromise with each other.

7. Boundaries with in-laws, family, and friends

Setting those boundaries of what’s acceptable to share about your relationship with your friends, in-laws, and family members, when they can visit, and how much time you spend with them is crucial.

No one loves your spouse like you do!

If they do something little and it pisses you off, don’t vent to your family member(s) who won’t be able to forget and forgive as easily as you.

Most problems that come up in marriage arguments are usually a misunderstanding or communication issue anyways (excluding any form of abuse or infidelity).

By setting these boundaries in the first year of marriage helps in building a strong foundation for your marriage.
WORD-AFLAME LEADERSHIP COLLEGE Adjusting To Married Life
8. Romance

You have to communicate to each other what you need to feel romanced and loved, they can’t read your mind.

Compliment each other.

Keep the romance alive.

Don’t forget to really talk about things you enjoy, do things together and enjoy each other’s company.

Marriage is work, but it is also fun.
Marriage is spending your days and growing together with your best friend, lover, and partner in life; so enjoy them!

9. Personalities

You are two unique individuals with two unique backgrounds, therefore adjusting to marriage will require some effort from both of you.

You will have to learn to compromise with each other to ensure the success of your marriage.

10. Meals

Making dinner, lunch or breakfast was an adjustment for us; we are from two different countries.
Since you and your spouse are from two different families you will have some adjusting to do.

We had to find things we liked from each other’s meals, tried to mesh them together, and experimented with new recipes until we came up with meals we both enjoyed.

We love different foods from all over the world and try to make our own versions at home.
Healthy food was an adjustment, we are always striving to eat healthier, one of us knew more about the quality of canned vs frozen vs fresh vs organic.

You are what you eat so this should be a topic of discussion in your first year before the arguments over meals begin.

11. Life challenges and the unexpected events

We had a lot thrown at us in our first year of marriage. It really put our commitment to the test.
We learned to stick together and cling to each other when the storms came. We always planned ahead, especially with our finances.

Being there to lean on, and leaning on your spouse when you need to, that’s one of the best things about marriage.

You have a best friend whom you can rely on.

They are strong where you are weak, and you’re strong where they are weak. Be available for your spouse.

12. Time

Spend time together sharing your experiences about adjusting to each other as a married couple.

Remember quality over quantity. Your marriage needs to be nurtured so it can grow.

Time with your spouse should be a priority too.

13. Patience

Marriage adjustments take time, so be patient with each other.

14. Words

After you said “I do,” you are now a wife, a husband, or partner.

Let it sink in even when it feels or sounds weird.

Also, choose some forbidden words for your marriage.

The adjustments you go through is because:

You are a newly married couple.

You are two unique individuals with different personalities. You have your own way of doing things.

You have different family upbringing, beliefs, and traditions. Adjusting to marriage is a learning experience.

As a newlywed, you can use this learning opportunity to understand and learn more about your spouse.

Certain things that didn’t bother you in the beginning will start to wear on you.

Adjusting to marriage is something you should look forward to during the first year of your marriage.

Furthermore, you must be ready for change because marriage is completely different from dating or courtship.

Yes, change, the word some people do not like to hear.

And even worse, some people don’t think they have to go through it. But to excel at anything in life and marriage, you must be open to change!

Within the first year of adjusting to married life, you could easily become overwhelmed and confused about everything going on between you and your spouse.

It feels as if the marriage expectations you had prior to your marriage is completely opposite to what you are experiencing.
These expectations of marriage you have can make adjusting to married life very difficult for you.

Sometimes you might even wonder or doubt if you married the right person.
WORD-AFLAME LEADERSHIP COLLEGE Adjusting To Married Life
Be calm

This is normal.

And the stress can be lessened by learning how to communicate with your spouse. Trying to understand them and adjusting to your marriage.
It happened to us too. But we stuck together and compromised with each other on our marriage expectations.

We had to both respect each other’s boundaries. We worked together to build a strong foundation for the wonderful marriage we enjoy today.

As humans, we all have our own way of doing things.

Before getting married, you are used to having your own space, your own car, your own money, making decisions on your own, etc.

He folds his clothes one way, she does a different way.

He organizes one way, she does another, or maybe one of you doesn’t organize at all!

Once you get married, you add another person (your spouse) to the mix.

And marriage adjustments must be made to create a happy, lasting, and healthy marriage.

Finding a way to mesh your differences together and compromising is where the learning curve begins.
WORD-AFLAME LEADERSHIP COLLEGE Adjusting To Married Life
You both become ONE.

Your bedroom becomes our bedroom, Your closet, our closet, Your bathroom, our bathroom, Your money, our money, Your decisions, our decisions.

Use these marriage adjustments to start growing together, and building a strong foundation in the first year of your marriage.

In the first year of our marriage, adjusting to married life was not easy.

We had to make some marriage adjustments, settling into the marriage rhythm, and learn as we confronted our challenges in marriage.

Being on the same page, having our family theme, marriage goals, and understanding why we got married kept us going.

In addition, we read marriage books for couples. It’s one of the things we highly recommend for newlyweds.

Learn how to handle the adjustments you go through.

If marriage adjustments in that first year of marriage are not handled well, it is counter productive in setting up a stable marriage foundation.

After interviewing over 30 married couples, we have observed they all experienced some form of marriage adjustments during their first year of marriage.

Therefore, you and your spouse will have to learn how to synergize your differences to enjoy married life together.

With divorce rates so high, you want to do everything you can to ensure a successful, healthy, and happy marriage.

Credit: Marcus and Ashley

WORD-AFLAME LEADERSHIP COLLEGE THE CHURCH AND THE WORLD

THE CHURCH AND THE WORLD

By Gideon in Blog, Spirituality on July 28, 2019

I have not been in the church for a long time….I was not there on the day of Pentecost…

I was not there when Brother Stephen had to endured the cruel stones of angry religious people who were mad at his biting words…

I was not present when the church rose in unison to save the head of Peter who was already in the dungeon of Herod Agrippa 2 who had silenced the first son of Zebedee among the twelve…

I was not among the congregation that listened as elders read from the handwritings of Paul, Peter or John…

I have not been in the church for a long time! BUT!!! I have been in the church for some time.Long enough to see the era when the world was different from the church.

I saw the days when the world looked at the church with respect and reverence.

I saw the days when “born again” experience was the sincere bridge through which men crossed from the world to the church.

I saw the days of “SU” (scripture union) revivals when all truly converted people were so labelled by the world.

I saw the days when men responded to altar calls not with chewing gums in their mouths but with tears in their eyes, broken and truly submissive before the altar of God.

I have not been in the church for a long time! I have not been in the church for a long time.

BUT!!! I saw the days when men of God were not men of gold.

I saw the days when Reverends were not laughing stocks in the society but men given the honour of the God they truly represent.

I saw the days when men went to church to meet preachers and not entertainers.

I saw the days when the pulpit was not a place for comic reliefs or centers of business discussions but God’s holy altars from where holy fire proceeded to consume evil works in men’s lives.
>>>>>Also Read This :Pastor W. F Kumuyi’s Message To The Churches<<<<<
I saw the days the Spirit of God would expose the secret evils of men when they came to worship and men would not dare come to His presence with sins not yet repented of.

I saw the days when the church was a centre of transformation and God’s workshop where men’s lives were fabricated and moulded after Him.

I have not been in the church for a long time.
BUT!!! I saw the days when churches were not business centres and human empires.
I saw the days when humility was the hallmark of Christian service and men of God were content with that simple life of Christ and would not hoodwink their hungry congregations to pay through their noses for the luxury and extravagance of pulpit business men.

I saw the days when collection of money was never a means for motivating God to answer prayers.

I saw days when men prayed, lifting holy hands and not 1000 euro notes in prayer meetings.

I saw days when men of God were empowered by the Holy Spirit to raise men and not trained by godless motivational speakers to raise offerings.

I saw the days when Jesus was the centre of all messages, heaven was the centre of all focuses and holiness was the centre of all Christian character.

HONESTLY, I don’t know for how long I will remain in the church on this side of eternity. NAY,I do not know for how long the church will remain before the harvest of her Lord.

BUT, my heart bleeds for the modern day church.

Oh! The church of the computer age.

Nay, the church of the ICE age.

The church where men play more than pray.

The church where holiness is a denominational doctrine.
WORD-AFLAME LEADERSHIP COLLEGE THE CHURCH AND THE WORLD
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The church where those who speak the truth are extremists and biased.

I weep for the modern day Church-I see self-adverts and miracle hawking in the name of ministry.

I weep as I see the church married to the world and the world enjoying the driver’s seat of the church.

I weep when I see a church that is a million miles wide but less than a meter deep.

Although I have not been in the church for a long time, I weep brethren for what I see the church turning to in my generation.

I weep because my children and their generation do not see what I saw in the days past.

I have not been in the church for a long time!

BUT!!! I notice everyday that the Bible is the same in every age and generation.

I have read times without number what is written in 1 Peter 2:9:”BUT YE ARE A CHOSEN GENERATION, A ROYAL PRIESTHOOD, AN HOLY NATION, A PECULIAR PEOPLE; THAT YE SHOULD SHEW FORTH THE PRAISES OF HIM WHO HATH CALLED YOU OUT OF DARKNESS INTO HIS MARVELLOUS LIGHT”.

I keep wondering the peculiarity of the church in today’s world. Well, I have not been in the church for a long time!

I have not been in the church for a long time. BUT!!! I have been there long enough to know that the Foundation of God still stands sure and also long enough to know that the Lord still knows those who are His and everyone that is named with Christ must depart from iniquity.

I have been in the church long enough to understand that not everyone that calls Jesus Lord will enter His heavenly home.

For said “MANY WILL SAY TO ME IN THAT DAY, LORD, LORD, HAVE WE NOT PROPHESIED IN THY NAME? AND IN THY NAME HAVE CAST OUT DEVILS? AND IN THY NAME DONE MANY WONDERFUL WORKS? AND THEN WILL I PROFESS UNTO THEM, I NEVER KNEW YOU: DEPART FROM ME, YE THAT WORK INIQUITY” (Matthew 7:22-23).

Beloved, how long have you been in the church and what gospel have you been made to believe?

I hope it is not one that will put your eternity in serious jeopardy?

Think on these things and heed the warning of God from a sincere believer. I have not been in the church for a long time but I desire to be with the Master; my loving Saviour and my Lord throughout eternity.

I HOPE THIS IS ALSO YOUR SINCERE DESIRE!

Please Share And God Bless You!

WORD-AFLAME LEADERSHIP COLLEGE True Man in Marriage

True Man in Marriage

By Gideon in Blog, MARRIAGE on June 15, 2019

I saw this and couldn’t resist in publishing it here. A Recommended Therapy for All married men, And for those singles who are too self-centered to think beyond themselves and their physical endowments.

He was having his evening beverage

That’s when she joined him.

“Hi there handsome, you’re looking good. So fine I can eat you up” she said sitting down.

“I thought we agreed to keep away from each other? I am a married man” he told her.

” Come on. I won’t bite. You can’t resist me, no man can” she said.

“I am a married man” he told her.

“Fight all you want, but soon I will have you. I am way better than your wife” she told him.

“You are nothing compared to my wife” he told her off.

“Really? All this body. All these curves. All these sweetness. I bet your wife is not as good in bed as I am” she told him unbuttoning the top button of her blouse to reveal her cleavage, then lifting up her skirt, just a bit.

“If I was a lustful and unfaithful man, all that would move me. But I am too grown to be enticed by what you’re showing off. I am a grown man, you think all that consumes my mind is sex? And for your information, my wife is actually great in bed” he told her.

“How will you know unless you do me. Try me tonight. Let’s drive in your black car to a romantic hotel, I promise you a night you will never forget” she told him.

“You know what you are? You are lazy? A lazy woman” he told her, then took a sip of his beverage.

“How dare you call me lazy?! I am a high flying educated woman. Any man would give anything to have me” she said.

“Fair enough. But would you give anything to make a man?” He asked.

“What do you mean?” She questioned.

“You look at me and find me attractive. Yet you disrespect the woman behind who I am, you want me to cheat on my wife, the woman behind my attractiveness” said he.

He drank a sip and continued, “My wife is responsible for the man in me that you want today. When I had little, my wife believed in me. These suits you see me wearing, are my wife’s idea. I ask for her advice on what to wear.

My success has come to pass because she prays for me and puts up with my demanding work hours. She corrects me and moulds me and that has moulded my character.

The Range Rover you see me outside driving that you fancy, I bought that with my wife. She and I invested to buy our house. I look attractive and pleasant, because she treats me well and gives me peace.

And now you want to have the man that she made out of me and dishonour her? You want to have the man that she has built for years? You are lazy?”

Silence.

“I see you turning down the single men who want you and yet you want me, a man that another woman has made? No, it doesn’t work like that.

Find your own single man, believe in him, pray for him, support him, nurture him and mould him to be the attractive man you want him to be.

You women have a nurturing and helping gift. Activate your gift.

My wife has been busy building me and I will not leave her for a woman who has nothing to offer, but her sexiness.

So if you may excuse me, I need to drive home and take my wife on a date. She deserves the best” he said as he stood up and drank a last sip.

He reached in his wallet and placed K200 on the table.

“Have yourself a drink as you think about your life and how you’ll stop being lazy and find a single man you can build. My generous wife and I have paid for the drink” he said.

He walked away as she looked on; her lower jaw dropping in shock, “I thought that this world was void of principled men, I just met one,” the diva seasoned as she sobered up, nodding her head.

“This guy just schooled me. In 20 minutes this smart guy has taught me the most valuable lesson which I’ve never found in any one of the three prestigious Universities I’ve attended. How to find, invest in and make my own husband,
I need to find my own husband” she thought to herself as the gentleman sped off in his waiting Range Rover.

WORD-AFLAME LEADERSHIP COLLEGE ARE YOU HAVING AN EMOTIONAL AFFAIR?

ARE YOU HAVING AN EMOTIONAL AFFAIR?

By Gideon in Blog, MARRIAGE on December 24, 2018

If anybody asks you this question, you may go angry or livid because it sounds so insulting. Why? You are never the type of person that would have an affair outside your relationship/marriage. Well, that is because you do not know what an emotional affair is.
Emotional affair does not involve sex. It happens to people who are in courtship or engaged or married but very fond of somebody else who is not their spouse but if care is not taken and brake applied, it can lead to full blown sexual affair.
Emotional affair does not only happen to people in bad, unhappy marriages. It can happen to happy couples, morally sound people and deeply spiritual individuals who love God with all their hearts and hate sin. It can even happen to great men and women of God. How then do they fall into emotional affair?
Emotional affair is not easy to detect at the beginning. It all starts as plain, platonic friendship with the opposite sex whom you exchange
ideas with and find admirable -that’s all. The friend can be a colleague at work, a fellow worker at church, a course mate, the secretary to the boss at the office or the next door neighbour. They
are someone you find attractive and enjoy talking to. If you treat them like you treat any normal friends with no strings attatched, there is no
problem but if you are SECRETLY fond of them, there is a BIG PROBLEM.
Also Read This :5 Secrets Of Great Relationships
Emotional affair starts rearing its ugly head if you are always eager to see them, anxious to hear from them and you feel sad if a day passes without getting in touch with them. It escalates when you begin sharing deep personal issues, especially
relational or marital problems and you find their words very soothing -it’s like Valium, you can’t sleep without it. It progresses when there is subtle flirty compliments (e.g. “Each time I see you, I always feel like hugging you and staying there forever” or
“Can I give you a peck please?”), sweet names calling and you never do anything to stop them, infact you love it and always look forward to hearing more from them. You idolize them while comparing them with your spouse who always
falls short. You see them as your comforter, healer and the only one who UNDERSTANDS you.
You begin to keep your conversations with them a secret from your spouse and deny every accusation of having any affair with them (since you are not having sex).
You have chemistry for them and always sexually charged when thinking about them or talking to them. Now, PULL A BREAK!!!
You are threading on a very dangerous path while consoling yourself that you are not having sex. Most people, especially good people, do not plan cheating or adultery, it “just” happened when all red flags are ignored.
Face the fact that your relationship or marriage is sick that is why you are attracted to someone else and fix the problem. If you do not deal with your relationship or marital issues, you will keep pursuing them and end up sleeping with them and that is the beginning of the end of your relationship or marriage.
Pull back from that person and avoid discussing anything personal with them henceforth.
Also Read This :Courtship, Engagement And The Wedding
Come clean to your spouse and let them know you are getting attracted to someone else and you need their help. (You don’t need to give them the full detail of your attraction).
Stop all chats, be very polite with their calls or ignore their calls altogether if you get tempted to go back. Understand why you fell into emotional affair and take precautions lest you fall into another one. Know that you are human and it is very possible to feel attracted towards the opposite sex, just don’t pursue your object of attraction. Set boundaries. Do not entertain ungodly relationships.
Have a full understanding of emotional affair and protect your heart from being tempted.
Remember the bible says: “Let he that thinketh he standeth, take heed, lest he fall.” 1Cor 10:12. Take charge of your life, do not leave your relationships to chance.
*To promote Godliness and preserve families which is God’s institution, share with all in your families and friends. You might be saving a Marriage or relationship from collapsing. This applies to married and single individuals both male and female. To tell you the truth this is how INFIDELITY starts…so be warned

WORD-AFLAME LEADERSHIP COLLEGE MY WIFE, THE ENEMY

MY WIFE, THE ENEMY

By Gideon in Blog, MARRIAGE on November 23, 2018

I woke up from a very frightening dream of my wife pouring hot coals on my Bible. I am a pastor, the former General overseer of a blossoming ministry……My church was beginning to get noticed all around the country, you know that point, when it seem like you are the only one God was speaking to. That was the point I was when I began to have serious deep revelation about my wife.

Just as I got to church that morning , highly disturbed, Sis Chrstiana, a very fervent member of our church who was gifted in visions and prophecy knocked at my door.

“Pastor, there has been underground murmuring in the church, a lot of people have been having terrible dreams about Mama, I shut most of them up, until I saw something very similar this morning”

“What did you see, sis Christiana?” I asked in fear

“I saw Mama, Your wife Sir, carrying a sledgehammer breaking down the building of the church, till the whole church collapsed”
>>>>>>Also Read This:True Life Story Of A Pastor<<<<<<
“oh my God!, lord don’t let this woman destroy me, I also saw a revelation this morning, I saw her pouring hot coals on my Bible, I am finished, I have married the enemy of my destiny, but the devil is a mad man, he planted her in my life for over 15 years without her showing her true colours, now that my ministry is blossoming , the devil wants to use her to destroy all I have labored to  gather, God forbid!. Thank you Sis Christiana, I know what to do!”

You would not believe what I did, I went into a 21 days fasting with only one prayer point “ LORD, KILL MY WIFE”I was on a prayer mountain for 21 days and I refused to come down, all I drank for those 21 days was water. A strange sickness took over my wife, I started jubilating, so happy heaven had answered my prayer, I did not pay attention to her, 3 months after my prayer, my wife DIED.

HOW ELATED I WAS, the enemy of my life was dead. Sis Christiana and I became good friends, she introduced her younger sister to me, and I fell in love with her instantly, before long, I perceived she was the will of God for me. She was a very spiritual girl. I married her. On our wedding night, she woke me up…

“ Femi Durojaiye, wake up” she had never called me by my first name, but as I looked at her I saw an elderly woman on the bed instead of my young beautiful wife…

“Jesus, Jesus”

“Hey , Shut up, how dare you call that name, you murderer, listen, from today , you  are no more the  General overseer of your church. If you make the attempt of ever pastoring again.. we will kill you…”
WORD-AFLAME LEADERSHIP COLLEGE MY WIFE, THE ENEMY
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Suddenly, just like in the movies three witches appeared in my room, Sis Christiana in the middle.. and Christiana spoke…

“ I have been in your church for 10 years as I had been assigned against you, because of the potential we saw in you, but your wife always defended you in the place of prayer, she was your cover, we needed to clear her away and the only one who could do it for us was you. We just needed you to declare it with your own mouth, and our master the devil worked on it.”

The elderly woman on my bed spoke  “ So, I am with you forever, we are already in a marital covenant, blood and soul tie covenant, wherever you go, I go ..so I will be monitoring your every move, so cooperate, hand over the church to a pastor I will introduce to you tomorrow and you will tell your members, the Lord told you to step down as the General Overseer.”
>>>>>>Also Read This: Confession That Shook Me<<<<<<
I did as instructed, and I watched how my big church crumbled before me as the satanic pastor destroyed the soul of my members, stealing their Glory. My new wife made sure she escorted me to my village, where she left me giving me strict warning never to come to the city again. She left me and for TEN years I have not seen her.
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I decided to write this story to let everyone know that we should discern all spirits, not all dreams come from God. Some have been projected from the pit of hell to send confusion into one’s Life. Also in marriage, no matter what you are going through with your spouse, never see your spouse as the enemy, the devil is the enemy.

Lastly, let wives be very vigilant spiritually, there are women who want to clear you out of the way so as to destroy your husband, always be prayerful about your own safety. Husbands pray for your wife, the devil that wants you to lose your wife is actually the devil that wants to remove your spiritual shield, so they can get you.

“BELOVED, DO NOT BELIEVE EVERY SPIRIT, BUT TEST THE SPIRITS TO SEE WHETHER THEY ARE FROM GOD, FOR MANY FALSE PROPHETS HAVE GONE OUT INTO THE WORLD” 1 JOHN 4:1

Please Share! God bless you!!

WORD-AFLAME LEADERSHIP COLLEGE WHY ARE YOU IN RELATIONSHIP?

WHY ARE YOU IN RELATIONSHIP?

By Gideon in Blog, MARRIAGE on October 20, 2018

Literarily, I have been seeing disturbing pictures and stories of females who stay with men who are violent in the name of I LOVE YOU and I asked myself, a lot of times. At the expense of your life, why?

Now, this is the deal. No one is advising you not to be persistent in relationship as singles. I quite understand very well that there are spiritual manipulations in some marital cases but then I ask myself and tell people. Know when to step aside and when to stay in.

I remember some years back I was in a relationship and I suddenly discovered I had lost who I was and my sanity and person. While the so called guy was happy I was unhappy.

I was so blessed this wonderful Sunday morning as Dan Foster was on Inspiration FM playing a message by Bishop TD Jakes, after the message, I started telling myself you must be a fool. A guy you not even married to.

I took a good bath, dressed up and went for a good walk, around as this gave me room to think. I came back home feeling the best and started putting my heads in the right things and actions.

Now, females, these are the mistakes always rearing up that you make.

1. You don’t get involved in a relationship out of self pity.

2. You don’t get involved in a relationship because you think his being overprotective means love.

3. You don’t get involved in a relationship because you feel so lonely.

4. You don’t get involved in a relationship because you feel insecure and unprotected.

5. You don’t get involved in a relationship because you feel its too late.

6. You don’t get involved in a relationship because you feel others are doing it.

7. You don’t get involved in a relationship because that guy is fine and handsome.

8. You don’t get involved in a relationship because you want financial gratification.

9. You don’t get involved in a relationship because people think you should.

10. You don’t get in a relationship out of self pity.

Know the reason why you want to be in a relationship.
WORD-AFLAME LEADERSHIP COLLEGE WHY ARE YOU IN RELATIONSHIP?
Here are tips for you;

1. Sit down, analyse yourself and what you want in a man and a relationship with him (remember, if you are useless you will analyse having a useless man, if you are goaless, you will analyse being with a goaless man. Who you are is who you will get. Work on yourself).

2. Have a strong and sound relationship with God, ask for spiritual guidance and don’t jump ahead of spiritual guidance. Like some people do, before they are told wait. They’ve gone 10 steps ahead, then trouble starts.

3. Develop yourself, build your mind, build your attitude, build your character because in the end you will be able to say if I am not like that, I don’t want a guy like that.

4. Keep your body. It belongs to you. Any guy who says proof your love to me by having sex with me. Just in the word of Praise Fowowe “tell him to go dance naked 3 days in the market and highway to prove it”, because in the end when he snatches your dignity from you, nakedness is what follows.

5. Decide not to settle for anything less in choosing a godly partner.

6. Decide never to tolerate any form of violence, verbal abuse or physical abuse or emotional abuse.

7. Ensure you know not just his financial stability, but how he can handle his finances. I am not asking you to dot after rich men, but there is what is called family accounting system. Is he detailed, so you guys don’t run bankrupt, because of mismanagement. Remember you need to be a judicious spender too yourself to figure that out in him.

8. Make sure he has goals, visions, purpose, because if he does he will be busy creating a world with you to achieve that instead of jumping from skirts to skirts. More so, if he sees value in you other than sex, child bearing and chores the better. Add value to your own life so you can be valuable to him.

9. Know his stands on domestic violence. Know his anger level. I laugh a lot at people who say, he or she will change. Sorry, that’s an error. Its you that would conform to being miserable at the end, if not careful.

10. Be a friend of the Word of God. Constantly ask God, seek God, Know God. I had to repeat this again to make you see its necessity.

11. Don’t take an over possessive guy as a choice of partner. In the end they care less.
WORD-AFLAME LEADERSHIP COLLEGE WHY ARE YOU IN RELATIONSHIP?
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12. Ensure he is in love with his positive personality and also appreciates himself and not what people or females think of him. People who value themselves value others positively.

13. Don’t, don’t, don’t, fight over him. If he is worth it and deserves your love, you won’t need to struggle to have him. Ladies, I see fight ladies over guys to me are cheap skate, because if you fight a billion females, if he will sleep with a trillion he will still do it. Know your worth.

14. Ensure he references certain people in authority, because if he does not, you’re in for a big mess.

15. Be sincere with yourself. Create no idol in your heart towards any guy so you can think freely.

16. Get that ideology of love is blind out of your head. Love is not blind go read 1Cor 13. Its lust that blinds you from reality.

17. Be with a man who wants to correct your mistake in love. That way you progress. Not the one who sees you’re wayward and let’s you continue that way.

18. Sex gratification is not a relationship, stay away from guys who wants to use you for that. They are evil.
>>>>>Also Read This:The Truth About Living Together Before Marriage<<<<<
19. Don’t jump after so called spirit filled church activist. The ones who are in every department in the church, although its a blessing to have such but be careful, so pray and accept the one with God in his heart and is God’s choice for you.

20. Learn to control your emotions, feelings, desire and utterances.

21. Read good developmental books that would nourish your mind, spirit and develop your brain.

I pray God guides you in following Him for the right partner in Jesus name! Amen!
Written by :Tolu Eyinfunjowo.

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